Posted by Kristi on May 19, 2001, at 13:02:24
In reply to Re: Anyone?-Kristi, posted by Marie1 on May 19, 2001, at 10:36:38
Please.... never apologize, at least to me. :-) for advice. I'll welcome anything. You know... I KNOW that is true.. I know that finding out the things that did happen to me in my childhood could definately help things I currently feel.. or ways I currently act.
For an example.... my grandfather supposedly locked me in a cole bin everyday(he was a cole miner. This was told to me by my brother) for hours on end because he didn't like "woman". I am soooooooo terrified what else he or she may have done,.. it seems like it would have to be so extreme for me to block out so many years. That's the only reason it makes me skeptical to bring it back. Would knowing cause MORE depression? Or aid in helping? It's like a double edge sword to me and I go back and forth.
HMMM..... lightbulb going off. Glenn, if your reading this.... this could be the reason why my family(esp my parents) laugh at me when I talk about doing this.
How I envy you that you came to grips with your past.. was this the same kind of thing? Have you repressed it or remember it? My life from 13 till 18 was what unfortunately seems the typical now... lived with my dad, didn't know my mother... and my father was like one of the "boot camp" intstructors, worse......... But... I do want to be "responsible" in helping myself.... maybe I definately need to look at it further. I think I'm going to have to develop a lot of courage....
Thanks for your post and thoughts... I am very sorry for your losses! It's awful. Take care,
Kristi
> Kristi,
>
> Your history sounds similar to mine (I lost mother and a brother to suicide), but I do respond to ADs (prozac). I also understand and can relate completely to your feeling of "don't go there..." regarding your childhood. I am DEFINITELY no expert in the field, but I think you might reconsider getting help for repressed memories. It's quite possible the things you may be stuffing inside are causing your depression and feelings of being non motivated. I feel the same way; my attitude is "why bother? life sucks and then you die....". I've always been somewhat sexually repressed (had an inkling of it probably stemming from my childhood) but never wanted to deal with it. Due mainly to the persistence of my pdoc, I'm beginning to deal with it, and while I hate it and it's painful, I'm starting to see how the traumas in the past can f**k up your life. And it's not too late to change things. I apologise if I've made assumptions here that I shouldn't have about your life; obviously I don't know you and could be way off base here. Please forgive me if that's the case.
>
> Marie
>
> > That really does sound interesting, and something I just might look into. I don't think i want to dig to deep into my child hood...... very strange.. I found out last year that I lived with my grandparents until I was 11 years old.... now 31.. and I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER IT. Strange huh? I always assume... if I repressed that many years of my life... it might be better to keep them there... if ya know what I mean. But could this stuff actually like.... gosh I can't even think of a word,.... kind of... um.... :-) talk you into being motivated?
poster:Kristi
thread:63506
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010515/msgs/63625.html