Posted by Else on September 4, 2001, at 20:23:26
In reply to Re: Sorry about the stupid question, posted by adamie on September 1, 2001, at 14:01:36
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> hi. I too am tired of all the nonsense when it comes to doctors.
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> my depression has been caused by accutane and I stopped right when I noticed changes in me. But it was too late. So now my brain has too much vitamin A or whatever else the accutane caused. I need to wait it out for it will go away like it has for most everyone with this specific substance induced depression. In the mean time I want help but of course the doctors can be quite ignorant and unwilling to even listen to what I have to say.
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> First my family physician wouldn't even consider the possibility of the accutane causing depression. And he even was skeptical I had anything wrong with me. Saying that it could all be phychological. Disgusting animal. This was the same doctor who passed out accutane like candy. I had no knowledge of the potential side effects which nearly took my life. He even urged me to go back on accutane saying it will clear up my acne. I was severely depressed and even suicidal, I am not going to care about by acne! such doctors make me so sick. I kept telling him how I was feeling so horrible but he had nothing to say.GPs can be a bit off as far as mealth health care goes, as I have found out. Last month I saw one for an ear infection. She asked me if I was taking any medication and (stupidly, but honnestly) I replied "Yes, I take Neurontin and Klonopin". She asked: "Why are you epileptic?" I said no, I take these for anxiety. Well she freaked out, kept looking at her CPS (Canadian PDR) going: "It says these drugs are for epilepsy, you have to stop", even though I told her my psychiatrist had prescribed them and was presumably knowledgeable about anxiety meds.
> Later on I went into talk therapy along with medication. Of course the talk therapy in this specific case wont heal my brain (i was always perfectly happy before) but I did it just so I would have someone to know what I was going through. Just a way to pass the time. Anyway she was a social worker. I only found this out later on. While talking with her she wouldn't even listen or consider what I had to say. Of course the accutane caused it! How can I go from perfectly happy, life completely perfect to being suicidal??? The only thing that happened during the time was me taking accutane. No doubt in my mind that the accutane caused it. It's common sense. And the drug is known to have caused thousands of suicides. Most unreported.
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> She was really rude and arrogant. I would talk to her and say as much as I could but all she would do is try to critisize me and try to find ways to tell me my case is phychological.Talk therapy could still have helped you even if your depression has purely physical causes. It should have been a more supportive form of therapy though. Obviously it wasn't. A lot of psychologists and social workers want to believe mental illness is psychological because otherwise they would be out of a job. Not all of them are biased though and I'm sure plenty of them are capable of providing excellent supportive therapy.
> For instance. I have suffered from the accutane severe inability to concentrate compared to normal. I told her this. So then she would say "oh but you can concentrate when it comes to the internet". She deserved a slap in the face.
Very innapropriate and obnoxious indeed.
> My life has been at stake. Of course I would try to learn as much as possible about depression and possible treatment options. Even if it was hard to read, hard to do anything, at least I could try to learn as much as I could. I would forget 99% of everything I read but at least I was passing the time and helping rhe chances of my recovery. I am so tired of such stupidity on her side. Just because I can go on the internet and read things, remember some things, doesn't mean my concentration is okay. She would critisize many other things. It's just hard to remember all the specific cases of arrogance she has shown.
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> Then later on she would bring my mother in to talk to both of us. My mother would say how me talking only about depression (how horrible I felt) was making her tired. She didn't want to hear so much about this. So of course the social worker critisizes me and says that my mom is a single mother. Things aren't too good for her and I should consider her feelings. This monster still didn't believe I had much of a problem (social worker).
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> I said my problems are far more severe than anything my mom could be going through. And that is a fact. Social worker said NO, I don't know that she says. Alison was her name. This disgusting social worker. Anyway of course my mom's problems aren't nearly as big as mine. My mom has no depression, my mom is capable of enjoying anything she wants to, meanwhile I WAS feeling suicidal. I have had no control over my mood. I cant Control the mind torture. But of course the social worker doesn't take me seriously. she makes me so sick. I told her I had the worst decease possible. she told me I was just over reacting.
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> I would trade my whole body filled with acne, both my legs and my left arm just so I would be back to my normal self. How dare she treat me in such a way. It's much better now. I am suicidal and I am minorly able to enjoy things but it's still a long way to go for me. In my old state I surely wouldn't mind at all trading all those things just to be cured. My life has always been perfect. My fiance is more perfect than I could ever imagine. To feel everything again would be amazing.
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> Anyway the social worker was a disgusting excuse for a human being. So later on I was switched to seeing the phychiatrist at the hospital. I guess they felt my case wasn't Severe enough to warrant seeing the pdoc. disgusting.
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> anyway she was far more helpful than that Alison person. But she too didn't take me seriously enough. And even once mentioned that a thing I said wouldn't be something a depressed person would say. how dare she. She also didn't want to listen to treatment options I suggested. Instead she wanted to put me on effexor. and so willing to go with anything, i did. it made my depression much worse. near constant mind torture and as a cause of it I was losing a lot of weight. Normally I am quite thin so that was a very serious additional problem. But the drug was just making me feel too horrible emotionally. No side effects except weight loss but so what. It's not supossed to make me feel like dying. So I went off it. then 3 days later I was feeling better. No doubt in my mind that the effexor was making me worse! But of course the doctors wouldn't listen. I was seeing another pdoc at this time. The bastard has the nerve to tell me that accutane should not have any lasting effects at all. Perhaps I should have printed out some research and shoved it in his face. He was beyong arrogant and he too was skeptical of me. He said it was impossible that effexor and previously paxil were making my condition worse. And said that if I was so severely depressed I would stick with the side effects in order to get better. I tried to tell him I had no bothersome side effects except that it was making me WORSE (aside from too much weight loss)! but he wouldn't listen. After a few weeks he still wouldn't accept the absolute fact that accutane caused something in me. And he just said that i was just naturally more depressed while on meds and that the meds were not causing it. I know how the hell I felt. I am sick of the nonsense. He takes me for some kind of idiot. Just like the other moron Alison. They should make me take a dam*** IQ test. Even with my worse concentration I'd be able to pull off something far above average. What these fools should realize is that not all cases of depression are the same. Mine is 100% caused by accutane so the same rules of most forms of depression may not apply. But they wouldn't even except that as the cause.
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> I am off meds now. 3 anti depressants all made my case worse. except for maybe paxil. it's hard to tell what that did. While on it I was feeling slightly better but when I stopped the meds after 24 days, 4 days later it was like a miracle. depression was really going away. I felt so sure I would fully recover. I was feeling so good so how could I not. then it went down again. So I dunno what the paxil did. while i felt slightly better on it than previously perhaps it prevented me from feeling better. That's how it looks since stopping made me feel quite good. near normal actually. I was doing everything so naturally as I was before the depression when I was perfectly happy. I was so motivated, so able to enjoy everything. But also perhaps the restoration of neorotransmitters 20% or whatever it is could have been the cause. Which remained after stopping the paxil only to dissapear afterwards. Since according to recent studies ssri use restores neorotransmitters aside from the reuptake effect. which is what could have making me worse. the reuptake. well it's all a big mystery but at least I'll survive. I am doing not nearly as bad as before and I feel confident that in time I will recovery. life was perfect before and I will feel everything once again. I just need to wait it out. In the mean time those doctors deserve a slap in the face. thanks for reading my little storyThat may not be much consolation but Effexor made me million times worse too. All SSRIs do. Wellbutrin and Parnate were the only ADs that have done anything for me in some way (either improving my mood or concentration). I haven't read about Accutane induced depression but I know it is listed as one posible serious side-effect. Vitamin A is fat soluble and most of the nervous system is fat but you probably know that already. That's why drugs that are fat soluble produce such long lasting withdrawal symptoms, they stay in your body fat (including your brain). Maybe it would help you to see yourself as though you are in withdrawal, which you are in a way. Accutane is a drug with such potentially severe side-effects (teratogenic for-instance), I'm surprised it's not left in the hands of people who are well informed about it like dermatologists.
I feel for you. I don't know what else to say but "Hang in there". Pretty lame, I suppose, but the drug will leave your body eventually, that's something you can coun't on.
But I do think a competent and well-informed counsillor might be able to help you deal with the strain of this depression. Finding one, however, is another matter. Believe me, I know.
Best wishe.
poster:Else
thread:77205
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010902/msgs/77737.html