Posted by fachad on March 21, 2002, at 10:44:31
In reply to Feeling alone, miserable - depression patterns, posted by Janelle on March 21, 2002, at 0:57:13
Janelle,
I've got quite a bit to say (no surprise, eh) but I'm going to break it up so it's not one long, rambling post. It will be three long, focused posts instead!
The first is on perspective. First and foremost, Janelle, keep in mind what John said, because it's very significant. There are lots and lots of people who are as depressed or more depressed than you, but they are not using their PCs, they are not sharing their plight on the Internet.
They are TRULY isolated. So even though you find yourself less functional than some people here on PSB, you are more functional than most people who are experiencing a depression as severe as yours. And continuing to function, in whatever capacity you are able, is key to recovery.
I'm going provide you with a rather long quote that has helped me define who I am and what this struggle means to me. When I grasped this concept, it caused a fundamental paradigm shift in me that completely changed the way I looked at depression and emotional suffering forever. It is from "Honoring the Self" by Nathaniel Branden. Here goes:
"The concept of the Will to be Efficacious is an extension of the will to understand. It places emphasis on the aspect of perseverance in the face of difficulties: continuing to seek understanding when understanding does not come easily, pursuing the mastery of a skill or the solution to a problem in the face of defeats, maintaining a commitment to goals while encountering many obstacles along the way."
"The Will to be Efficacious is the refusal to identify our ego or self with momentary feelings of helplessness and defeat. All of us know times of bewilderment, despair, and a painful sense of impotence or inadequacy. The question is Do we allow such moments to define us..."
"The Will to be Efficacious - here was a concept... that helped me understand the difference between those who felt fundamentally defeated by life and those who did not."
"It is impressive to see a person who has been battered by life in many ways, who is torn by a variety of unsolved problems, who may be alienated from many aspects of the self - and yet who is still fighting, still struggling, still striving to find the path to a fulfilling existence, moved by the wisdom of knowing, "I am more than my problems"
"Having the Will to be Efficacious does not mean that we deny or disown feelings of inefficacy when they arise; it means that we do not accept them as permanent. We can feel temporarily helpless without defining our essence as helplessness. We can feel temporarily defeated without defining our essence as failure. We can allow ourselves to feel temporarily hopeless, overwhelmed, while preserving the knowledge that after a rest, we will pick up the pieces as best we can and start moving forward again. Our vision of our life extends beyond the feelings of the moment. Our concept of self can rise above today's adversity."
I hope that passage strikes a chord in you like it did in me, because it is truly profound and provides a perspective for understanding and accepting emotional suffering without giving up.
> I've been in and out of depression/anxiety for years now, but this past year has been particularly bad. I've had either a day or a few in a row where I basically don't get out of bed except to eat (sometimes I don't even do that) or use the bathroom, and I've also done the *stay in bed* thing for several WEEKS at a time. I get to the point where I basically cannot function beyond survival mode. Needless to say, when this happens I get even more anxious.
>
> From the posts I read on here, people are struggling yet y'all sound so much more together than I am when I get really depressed.
>
> Is there ANYONE out there who goes through periods where they basically can't get out of bed? Any feedback, words of wisdom or support greatly appreciated.
poster:fachad
thread:99162
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020318/msgs/99202.html