Posted by Spriggy on April 14, 2005, at 11:08:32
In reply to Re: this is getting weird.. even more confused! heart » Spriggy, posted by PM80 on April 14, 2005, at 7:42:59
I want to thank everyone here for responding and for your support.
I kind of had a "breakdown" last night- I actually left in the middle of church. I just felt like I was about to freak out in front of everyone. I just needed to be in my home, with some peace and quiet so I could do some wailing.. LOL
My husband came home from church last night and prayed for me (over me) like I have never prayed for before. He said, " I don't want you to try and figure this thing out anymore. I think it's making you worse. You let me take that job on."So he is going to talk with one of the men in our church that is an internal medicine doctor and tell him everything. He wants to see if he has any insight or if there is anything he suggests.
I'm just worn out from all this.. It very well could all be anxiety/bp2, I think I am just now realizing how physical your symptoms can become from stress. They are very real... but Maxime hit the nail on the head, you can't "show" this to people so they just can't understand it.But you know what I have thought about.. here we are in a position at a church with about 1,000 people- Maybe, Just maybe, God allowed me to "carry this" and have this thing to break the stigma of it and to expose it to the church. I don't know. I guess I'm always wanting to believe that God doesn't have us suffer in vain- there is always a purpose for any suffering He requires.
Anyway, maybe once I am more stable, I can start leading a study on depression/anxiety to other's in my church. I have been amazed at how many people are actually struggling in the same way but too ashamed to tell.
Maybe it's time that we all just wake up and get our heads out of the sand. Including me!
But I appreciate you all so much. You really have been such a support to me through this.
I know this sounds stupid/cliche'/emotional hogwash, but I love you people.
poster:Spriggy
thread:483825
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050413/msgs/484120.html