Posted by Sulpicia on April 8, 2001, at 14:01:22
In reply to Re: Panic Disorder/OCD/Suicidal Ideation HELP! » Sulpicia, posted by AnneL on April 7, 2001, at 21:21:41
>Hi Laurie --
I'm so glad your daughter is getting good help. It also sounds like she has a *very* special
mom, and an insightful one too. I went thru much of the same stuff when my daughter was diagnosed.
I *should* have recognized the symptoms. For me, at the time of diagnosis, and currently, a real
issue is that I'm in graduate school. The *clever* deans mandate on-campus residency. This, combined
with a staggering work load, means that I don't see my family for weeks at a time. My daughter of course
resents this like mad and it's been and continues to be, a huge issue.
I can well imagine the grief of letting her go to live with her father. Ideally it should help her to realize
that both parents love her -- and possibly that life with Dad is not the bed of roses she imagined.I've never come up with a way to deal with the familial component of mental illness. I suffer from depression
and ADD, and have over a decade of sobriety. My daughter got all the crap I had to deal with, and bipolar too.
In my more rational moments, I can see that she also got the humor, intelligence, and compassion that comes with
this inheritance, but it still makes me feel horrible.Probably for now, as you deal with this, two things might be useful. First, make sure her dad is *very* clear
about her diagnosis, it's severity, treatment, and any warning signs. It's easy to brush off indications of serious
trouble if you're unfamiliar with this sort of thing. The other thing that will help both you and your daughter is
to set up a relatively hassle-free way of communication. Make sure she either has email or perhaps a pre-paid phone
card or a pre-paid cell phone. And you may have to take the initiative too. I'm sure it will help her to know that
she hasn't closed the door to you -- a concern which would upset her tremendously I suspect.The last thing is to find some support for yourself. Perhaps a parents group thru NAMI? Can you ask at the hospital?
I think it's really important that you are validated and supported for making such a selfless decision to help your
daughter.
Your daughter is very lucky to have a mom like you, and tho she may not demonstrate any awareness, I very much suspect
that she knows it, and in time, will come to respect and love you all the more.
I check this board regularly so please keep in touch.
Best,
Liz
poster:Sulpicia
thread:149
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20000813/msgs/168.html