Posted by Sulpicia on May 12, 2001, at 21:41:54
In reply to Is 7 like the terrible 2's?, posted by gritslad on May 12, 2001, at 16:09:03
> In reading a previous post about a difficult 7 year old, I recognize my own daughter, who lately has been difficult. She too argues, twists everything we say, and has tantrums. As with the previous post, she is very bright. There are no problems in school other than an occasional note about too much talking, but this defiance at home worries me. She is not like this 24/7, but certainly enough to worry me. Does anyone have suggestions for dealing and is 7 a particularly difficult age?
Hi--
is 7 a difficult age? Hard to say.
I've found several things to be true with my 2 [10 and 15].
First of all, kids seem to have periods where they act horrible for a bit
and then are fine. With my 2, it was like periods of disorganization, in which
they were trying to get their acts together, but couldn't and made life pretty
tough. Following this they forged ahead on all fronts, developmentally, academically,
and emotionally.
The second thing, and possibly more important, is never underestimate a parent's gut
reaction. You are concerned ergo there is *reason* for concern.To reassure you, absent sudden changes in school, sleep, eating, friendships, and sleep,
you are not likely to be looking at something serious that needs a pdoc.Part of this may be age-related. To figure this out, try to spend a full day at school
watching. Pay attention when her friends are over, and maybe visit the parents next time
she has a playdate. You may find that your kid is wonderful by comparison.If this doesn't reassure you [or maybe looking at some mainstream books on child development] then
you might want to think about the situation more carefully: is this a sudden change? When did it start?
Can you link it to anything? What changes are going on in her life and in the family? Kids hear more than
we give them credit for and understand much less. Funny ideas and fears can make for weird and nasty
behavior.
Ask her what's going on: simply say something like " gee you've been so crabby recently I hardly know you.
What's wrong?"
A visit to the ped is always a good investment I've found.
Still uncomfortable? I might find an excellent child psychologist and see what she/he suggests. Most often
it's a case of education and facilitated communication, and perhaps some parenting strategies to minimize
the trouble spots.Trust your instincts, don't pathologize, keep smiling and communicating.
Best,
S.
poster:Sulpicia
thread:184
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20000813/msgs/185.html