Posted by Dinah on April 15, 2006, at 10:30:52
While I always tell my son, and really do believe it, he's lucky to have such a great dad.
But in day to day affairs, I find myself often involved in a triangulation cycle. It's dad vs. the two naughty children.
Of course, sometimes it's boys vs. girls, but I don't see anything really wrong with that. I just wanted to point out that there are other alliances in the family that balance that one.
I recognize it. I've discussed it with my therapist and with my son's therapist, and I've resolved to stop it. But I find myself doing it again.
It's nothing really awful. I don't *say* much. It's more attitude than words. But I would like it to stop. I'd like a dynamic more like Cosby. Where the parents are united and their alliance prevails.
I guess I should add that triangulation was the norm in my family of origin. My parents couldn't stand each other, and I was the weighted party. So when I was young it was me and my mother against my dad in the dad vs. naughty kids cycle - only more virulent than in my house because I like my husband. Then as I got older, it was me and my dad against my mother in the rational vs. irrational cycle.
With some momentary alliance shifting in between.
poster:Dinah
thread:633452
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20050817/msgs/633452.html