Posted by Maxime on October 4, 2005, at 12:24:55
In reply to Never Enough, posted by 10derHeart on September 25, 2005, at 16:37:37
> So what now? YOU KEEP FIGHTING
> Too weak to stop or change. ~~YOU WILL FIND THE STRENGTH ONE DAY~~~
> I'm disgusting. ~~ NO YOU ARE NOT!~~~
> I hate this :-( ~~~I WOULD HOLD YOU AND LET YOU CRY IF YOU WERE HERE IN REAL LIFE.~~~
>
> (why does writing about this hurt so much?)
~~~ BECAUSE SEEING IT WRITTEN MAKES IT EVEN MORE REAL ~~~~I cried when I read your post. I feel your pain. I have a friend who suffered from bulimia from age 11 to age 25. She would purge EVERYTHING she ate so her weight was that of someone with anorexia. I only knew her online but I felt very connect to her. I travelled across the United States from Canada to see her and take care of her because she was so weak. I was so scared that she was going to die. Not only was she emaciated but all the purging had taken its toll. I brought her to the ER several times. Finally she decided to accept treatment. She went to River Oaks treatment center. She stayed there for 9 months. 9 months! She came out healthy - both mentally and physically. We set up an outpatient program for her so she could stay on track. 4 years later she is still on track and finishing her Masters degree in Social Work. She still has slip ups but she has a contract with her T that if it gets bad she will go back into the hospital. So far she hasn't had to.
It can be done. She never had enough either. She is still paying off the cost of her treatment and probably will for a long time. But she is whole again. She is alive and living. She is going on to help other people.
So you may feel too weak to change right now but eventually you will find that strength from somewhere. Hopefully you will have a friend or family member who can help you. My friend had no one. Her family wanted nothing to do with her because it had been going on for so long. But we found each other on the net and I was able to support her online and then in real life. I gave up my job and I don't regret it for one moment. We are connected now forever.
There is hope even if you don't see it. It can be hidden in the oddest of places. It will find you.
Hugs,
Maxime
poster:Maxime
thread:559498
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20050314/msgs/562726.html