Posted by curtm on August 25, 2006, at 8:55:27
In reply to Re: Sustaining self esteem within depression, posted by finelinebob on August 24, 2006, at 20:56:31
>> It's hard, if not impossible, to have hope when you are so convinced that there is no good inside you. I believe that at their cores, all people are essentially good. You don't need to change your SELF. You may need to change your point of view. You may need to change your behaviors. But trying to be someone you are not -- you're right, it'll be fake and people will see it as such.
That is such great advice because I do have expectations and that often sets me up for disappointment. I expect certain behavior from other people, but when I look at mself I see that I don't even perform to those standards. Perhaps I am envious that I have issues that others don't and I take it out on them. This is really bringing on some heavy emotion right now. I think that is good. Thanks for bringing it up.
One story I have to share is about a time that a coworker who mocked my bipolarity and I got really really pissed and I screamed cursed and fingered him. He later came to apologize and I nodded. He remained present as if he expected a response and said, "I said I was sorry." I said "OK..." Did he need some sort of affirmation to validate his sincerity? True sincerity would not require that and that is what holding no expectations means to me.
>> Of course I am! I'm of Irish descent after all. Some Irish consider depression their national pasttime right behind football, or was it drinking. Or football AND drinking.
I'm Irish too. First line son of outlaws. Perhaps it's all in my blood. Ever hear the phrase by the English king, "The Irish aren't happy unless they have something to complain about?" I don't remeber which one said it right now and I might not have quoted it perfectly, but I really have some belief in it's truth.
poster:curtm
thread:668295
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060725/msgs/679929.html