Posted by Partlycloudy on July 28, 2008, at 7:32:37
I have been depressed. And anxious. I am starting to respond to a change in medication. I have been going to more frequent therapy sessions.
One of the ways that my illness has shown itself this time around (interesting that it's not always the same?) has been a complete disinterest in eating. And also I've been feeling "urpy" - kind of nauseous, upset stomach feeling, which doesn't make me want to eat either. We're working on these issues in therapy - milkshakes, sipping protein drinks seem to bypass the problem.
At this point, I've lost close to all my antidepressant-related weight gain. Interesting that while I'm not feeling that wonderful, I'm looking "better" - according to socially accepted norms, that is, than I have in about 5 years.
Also interesting is that the disinterest in eating and general nausea mirrors how I felt through much of my childhood. This is how anxiety expressed itself in me, from the time I was 5 or so, until I was 16, when I discovered drinking. Ii spent most of my growing up years being underweight, according to my doctors. Very finicky about what I would eat. There are lots of triggers going down in my life right now that would be bringing me back to my childhood memories, and this is an extremely uncomfortable time for me. We're talking abandonment issues here.
Anyways. Interesting that my clothes are looking better on me when I care the least about them.
poster:Partlycloudy
thread:842537
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20080422/msgs/842537.html