Posted by Dinah on August 14, 2007, at 17:45:00
In reply to Older virgin needs some help, posted by asya on August 10, 2007, at 21:19:36
Oh gosh. I thought I'd posted to you. I guess the confirm this post monster ate it.
I was a virgin until my marriage at thirty, and even after my marriage I still clenched and it is difficult to fit a speculum. In fact, I'll never forget one doctor who kept calling for progressively smaller ones until he resorted to the one for young girls.
Please do get your exams as often as your ob/gyn suggests.
But I'll share what I have discovered over the years. I always tend to see a woman. And most of my doctors speak briefly to their new patients before they require undressing. If your doctor doesn't as a rule, and the nurse asks you to undress, maybe you could ask for a brief word with the doctor before you undress, or at least before the actual exam. I usually find these discussions easiest with clothes on.
Then I'm just honest with them. Whatever I need to tell them, I tell them. So before I was married, I said I was a virgin, that I found the exam difficult, and that if they could use a small speculum I would appreciate it. Now I tell them I tend to clench, and that I find exams difficult. I think you only have to say it once, because they'll note it. If they ask any questions, just answer briefly and honestly.
As far as compassionate, that's hard to tell beforehand. If you don't feel comfortable with her manner, then she's not the right doctor for you. (I'm using the feminine gender because I really prefer a woman in this capacity.) I saw my one before my current one only once and decided she was too brusque for me. The rest have been quite nice about anything I might tell them. Some more matter of fact than others, but all nice enough.
I think the benefit of briefly letting them know before the exam is that they're more prepared for a discussion at that time, and less likely to respond in a less than professional way.
If they aren't willing to have a couple of words with you before asking you to do something so intimate, then they likely aren't the right doctor for you anyway.
poster:Dinah
thread:775398
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/health/20070701/msgs/776262.html