Posted by JadeKelly on November 1, 2008, at 15:29:01
In reply to My Story- Looking For Some Opinions + Advice, posted by jasongitar on November 1, 2008, at 7:16:43
> First of all I don't want to bore anyone or waste anyones time, so please don't read if you don't feel like reading a long post. This isn't to tell my life story or gain any sympathy. Basically it's about how my brain has worked from past to present and to give the reader an idea of what might be going on. You may find me repeating myself, rambling, and some misspellings, sorry :)
The more info we have the more complete the answer! If you don't get many responses maybe post a shorter version to get the discussion going on. Good idea from Phillipe to post on med board board too. Not sure, I'm new, but I have been reading this sight for a long time.
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> I have seen and spoke to doctors and professionals about this and they all agree that I have some type of neurotransmitter imbalance and need some type of medication to get my brain working properly.Definately!
> So here is my story, I came here to maybe see if someone could hear me out and give me their advice and opinion as to what type of medication or supplements might be good for me to try under doctor supervision of course.
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> I have noticed that ever since I was a kid I have had extreme addictions starting with candy, sugar, then food, I was addicted to it like a drug, which then led to being overweight and all kinds of helth problems like high blood pressure and sleep apnea, then I got into looking at porn, smoking cigarettes, spending money, love addictions (jumping from one relationship to another). Seemed like a major lack in dopamine may have been inluencing me to do this.
>I know someone like this and he calls it "Addictive personality". His "treatments" of choice sound similar, dopamine type stuff.
> I tried smoking marijuana at 16, 18, & 23 and all 3 times I got out of this world anxiety, the worst panic I have ever experienced, which led into deep deep depression and de-realization.Same here!, I'm short on Dopamine (not addictive personality that I know of) But when I was in Highschool and even couple times in college smoked pot, it made me so paranoid I could not look someone in the eye. I saw others become euphoric on it. Wonder if that is a clue to your chemistry!
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> I have tried SSRI's like Zoloft, & Paxil and it just seemed to make me way way worse with majorly increased anxiety leading me to believe that my serotonin levels did not need to be raisedMe too. I became anxious, and again, paranoid.
Tried many, lasted few days at most. Did do a trial of Prozac many years ago, full month, the joke with my dad is that your so damn happy to get off the stuff your depression is gone, haha. I think it speaks to a certain brain chemistry, and tweaking that apart is the challange.>
> I have tried Benzos like klonopin, and Ativan and it really didn't change anything except made me really tired and total loss of sex drive, didn't seem to help my anxiety or make it worse.I have taken Klonopin for years, I want to get off it, no beneifit anymore except helps with nerve injury and sleep. Wonder if it actually interferes with "good" sleep tho. Also hear a lot that it can cause depression over time. I'd stay away from Benzos unless short term for bad anxiety.
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> The things that do help are excessive exercise (at least 2-3 hours per day), sleep deprivation (only sleeping 1 or 2 hours per night, only works about one time a week), Wheat beer and some Hard Alcohol, Hi fat/calorie foods like ice cream/pizza/fast food/etc., sex deprivation as in the Taoist way, falling In love, spending money.Exercise ALWAYS works for me while I'm doing it. Has to be strenuos, aerobic or continous type, I only go to gym for 1 1/2 hours tho. My family members all swear by it. My niece HAS to run for at least 1/2 to 1hr daily or she gets depressed. Is your excersize aerobic in nature? Maybe try a good hard run (runners high). My problem is it only helps while I'm doing it. So, what changes during excersize? Endorphins, do they affect dopamine? another clue.
From this description and all of my research it would seem as though I have an addiction to dopamine and PEA producing elements. Also my Dad was a big smoker, relationship addict and beer drinker. My mom and her mom have had a history of anxiety and depression.
Another way to put that may be that you have a DEFICIT in Dopamine. This is my un-educated opinion, as I think it is yours.
These things are so often hereditary, its what convinces me that most of the time, its related to a deficit of some kind, as you've been saying.
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> When I tried taking Sam-e years ago it really really helped temporarily, then I tried taking it again and got pretty bad anxiety, smoking cigarettes with beer really helped to the point where I actually totally felt normal, but when I stopped all of my symptoms returned, and returned with a vengeance. I have tried smoking again, but it always starts with really bad anxiety, probably from the adrenaline rush produced by the nicotine, I suppose I could get use to it again if I kept trying, but then I'll be a smoker.Please don't do the smoking thing. I smoked for 10 years, then quit cold turkey. Picked one up couple years later and was sick as a dog. I felt God did me a favor.
> I have tried every diet known to man and even lost 100 pounds, but the lack of calorie rich foods seemed to spiral me back into a low low depression.Dieting probably shouldn't be a priority until you get some other things straight. It can cause depression and anxiety, especially if your'e eating the wrong things or cutting out too many calories at once. Moderation?
Also, prob carb addiction.I think common in people who need dopamine.
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> My current symptoms are De-realization/De-personalization (which is the worst symptom, if you are not familiar with this, it basically feels like you are constantly in a dream state looking through a foggy glass window partially separated from your body, they recently made a movie about it with Mathew Perry called "Numb") anxiety, depression, some OCD symptoms, lack of focus and memory problems, some anger and temper issues. I have a beautiful girlfriend who has alot of these same issues (makes me wonder if we are attracted to others with similar brain chemistries)Well, 1st, congats on the beautiful girlfriend. So many people deal with lonliness plus all this other stuff! So thats good. 2nd. Sorry, I have no experience with the de-realization. The rest, I know somthing about and can make some suggestions just based on what have see/experienced.
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> Supplements and medications I want to try are-
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> PEA(phenylethylamine), Mucuna Pruriens, Parnate, & maybe Wellbutrin all of these seem to play a role in the dopamine making factor. I guess I'm just concerned about the anxiety reaction.
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> Do these sound like some good things to discuss with my doctor about trying? I'm 32 years old and desperately looking for some answers, I'm so so tired of suffering, I don't want to get mixed up into a worse addiction to try and self medicate. My stress levels are off the roof, I can only handle about 1 day of work per week. This is no way to live. I appreciate any advice or words of wisdom.
1.I think you have significant depression, whether MDD or not, I don't know. In addition, maybe finding help for depression will cut out anxiety.Have you been diagnosed by a "GOOD" pdoc? Some of your post sounds like maybe a bit of mania now and then?2. You can't handle SSRI's, etc. Me either. The only thing that helped were MAOI's. Within 4-5 days I felt like myself/and a lot happier. Not euphoric, just motivated and wanting to engage with the outside world again. I tried the Emsam Patch, worked, but when I titrated up to 9mg. it seemed I might as well switch to Parnate or Nardil as I'd have the food restrics anyway. I chose Parnate based on side effects. Parnate would probably be good choice for you, too, as Nardil causes weight gain.
These drugs can be DANGEROUS if you can't or won't stick to the food and drug restricts. If you know you can't, DON'T take them. I'm on my second trial with Parnate because I seem to be one of the rare, rare people who has spontanious BP spikes. Had bad Hypertensive crisis 11 days in. You can see that I'm a believer in this med. I do, however, take a high blood pressure/antodote med with it now...no more high BP. Btw, the restricts aren't bad at all, you just have to be careful of accidents, really.
3. Next thought, you may have low blood sugar, hypoglycemia. I'd get tested for that.
4. Self medicating is NOT a good idea and won't work in the long run (cigs, alcohol, non-script drugs, etc.) UNLESS you are talking about supplements, vitamins, that kind of thing. If your Pdoc is like mine, he/she wont spend 2 minutes really looking into that. If your serious about it, see a reputable nutritionist and leave with a safe list.
5. If this Parnate stops working, I'm going to go see a) a psychopharmocologist. I think with your atypical depression you might do the same, to really understand what you are lacking finally, and maybe an answer. Find a good one. b)get tests done to cover any and all possible illnesses, deficiencies. I don't just mean an endocronologist. Pick up a book or search here and find out what underlying problems can cause depression/anxiety, etc. get tested for those.Easier said than done when its hard to get of of bed, I know!
6.Last, and I tread on this lightly, I'm no MD, I did read some things in your post that may be signs of mild mania. Did you have unusual anger/aggresive problems as a teen, early twenties? When you act on your addictive behaviors, do you feel any mania/euphoria or other strange feelings? Just curious. Again make sure you have a GOOD pdoc and a GOOD diagnosis.If it should come up, seroquel is an excellent med for that, works on anxiety and insomnia too.
Good Luck to you and post on your progress!!!
Jade
poster:JadeKelly
thread:860169
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/neuro/20080706/msgs/860231.html