Posted by Caper on May 18, 2004, at 3:05:43
In reply to I just want to be normal, posted by LeilaH on May 17, 2004, at 15:30:30
Hi Leila,
My heart goes out to you, since I've been where you are.
I agree with the other responses to your post: when you are really at your wit's end, go to a hospital emergency room. No matter what your insurance situation, they will take care of you, either in that hospital (if it has a psych ward) or they will find another hospital that can take you.
I've been in a few different psych hospitals from the time I was 23 (I'm 31 now) and they really can help. They get your meds straight, plus you get to live for a short time with people who suffer similar problems. That helped me LOTS because before my first admission I felt like I was the only one.
If you've been manic in the past you may be Bipolar (either type I or II) and need a mood stabilizer as well as an anti-depressant.
But please, please, don't give up! You don't really want to die, you just don't want to feel so awful any longer. And you don't have to- there are so many treatments available now! With a little luck and persistence you'll find the right one for you.
One more thing: lots of people are afraid of going to the ER because they are afraid of inpatient psychiatric treatment. Please don't let that stop you. The admissions are usually pretty short, (generally 3-10 days) so you don't have to worry about getting "locked up" for months or anything like in the movies! Also, I'll be honest: yes, some places are a little scary for the first few hours, but after that you realize the others are people just like you: in pain but with the courage to try to get better. I think other patients sometimes helped me as much as or more than the doctors.
Finally, if you have any questions or just want to talk, my e-mail is Caper@playful.com. I'd be glad to tell you all I can about my own inpatient experiences, or to just listen if you want to talk more about why you're feeling bad.
Best wishes,
Caper
> Hello all...I am looking for some advice. My quality of life is rapidly diminishing, I am about to lose my job, and I am entertaining the thought of taking the "easy" way out without even realizing it, I am disturbed by suicidal thoughts. I am 25 years old, single, no children, and I am having the most horrible time with what I think may be a severe depression, or anxiety. I have experienced depression before, as well as manic episodes, but it was mostly when I was an adolescent. Now, I literally can't find a reason to get out of bed, I have been late for work for consecutive weeks, and I am plagued with nightmares of my childhood, seemingly out of the blue, that has my stomach twisted in knots by the time I do wake up, usually hours past when my alarm was originally supposed to wake me up. I hear glass breaking when I try to fall asleep, I relive scenes of domestic violence when I close my eyes, and I have been fine for years, I don't understand. I was prescribed 20mg of Fluoxetine a day, and I have been taking them for nearly 8 weeks now...it's getting much worse, even with the pills. I am going through Native American health services for free help, and the doctors won't talk to me, they seem to have time to prescribe this pill and that's it, out the door. I am very afraid that I am going to lose it soon; I need help. Please, if anyone knows of somewhere that I can turn to, I live in Oklahoma City, and I really do want to get better.
>
> Thank you,
> ~Leila
poster:Caper
thread:347878
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20040420/msgs/348054.html