Posted by babblemama on October 21, 2004, at 22:13:57
Wow. I am thrilled to have the opportunity to share this milieu with a group of individuals who will know what I mean. Know what I mean? I am an epileptic who suffers tonic clonic seizures. I learned yesterday that grand mal had been changed to tonic clonic. My first thought is wow, would you like a gin and tonic clonic? I can never stop my connectedness. I can never stop telling everyone, even virtual strangers, how this connectedness, these tangents, these thought telescopes relate to one another. My neuro explained that my 20 plus years of phenobarbitol for seizure control could be leading to my "ADD like behavior". Oh, so that is why I have so many disorganized piles of paperwork, so many first chapters...For a couple of years she has been wanting me to switch to a mood stabilizer for both birds, epilepsy and this mmoooooodddd thing. Friends notice a marked difference in my behavior on a day to day basis. So do I. I am either superAffectchick or calm, lack thereof. I need to stop feeling that I am the most clever person on earth. I got pretty freaked out when I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, could do nothing but think and write. Whew. Some, even me, could blame the lack of nurturing I had as a child, unipolar depressed mom, hyper critical pothead dad. Chemistry is what it is though...I kinda thought it was funny when I learned of the term "positive psychotic" and that some with my type of epilepsy have a brain electricity which mimics this behavior. I saw the word tangent. What a tangent that started. I have three daughters, a husband who was hospitalized for a severe OCD with a side of psychosis, but the negative kind. He is now medicated and symptom free, so to speak. I have begun lamictal as of yesterday. I would stop writing if I could. In some strange way I beleive that there is a point to all this thought, I just havent thought of it yet.
poster:babblemama
thread:405687
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20040812/msgs/405687.html