Posted by bambi on September 2, 2005, at 14:51:16
Hello everybody!
I've been surfing the Net today and came across this site, read some messages and was actually moved by the accounts of the fellow-suffers (if I can use these words). This is just to let you know that in a small country in Europe there is a 28-year-old fighting anxiety, depression, ocassional panic attacks, Xanax, Prozac and the like for almost ten years now. After a short period of stability, I'm feeling very low again and heading downwards which prompted my search.To brief you about my 'history' - the general feeling of occasonal unaccountable depression which had been with me ever since I was aware of myself gave way to extreme headaches at the age of 17, culminated in a sort of nervous breakdown at the age of 19 after which depression and anxiety became my everyday reality. I've been in psychotherapy since 1997 and despite being in a very bad shape tried to keep off meds as you pet them. Then in 1999, following a dreadfull panic attack I started using Xanax and a year later Prozac. My condition improved considerably: it felt like replacing an old flickering, black and white TV with a brand new color one I once was accustommed to. But I can't say it was all to do with Prozac: against all odds I was a successful English student and taking up Prozac coincided with my starting to work as an English teacher with adult classes and being in company with happy and stable people did an awful lot for me. Feeling stable in a realatioship with a very kind and supporting person, in January 2002 I went off both Xanax and Prozac which ended in a severe panic attack in April which forced me to stop teaching (although I somehow managed to pass several examinations at the faculty). I definitely felt much worse than ever before and seemingly had no option but to go back to my 'old friends' after dreadful suffering for a month and a half. My psychotherapist (the 2nd one)maintains that my condition is a result of intra psychic conflicts or indeed a personality disorder which could be relieved through therapy and that Prozac which was prescribed by my former one upon my request is actually of no use, not solving any underlying problems but just camouflaging them (which I totally agree with). So I've been off Prozac but taking my Xanax (varying from 0,25 to 1,5 mg a day) since January again. 'Bad season' this time started in June and I'm still fighting but it's getting worse and I don't know how much longer I can stand it. The thing is that I do see external factors promping this deterioration and my extremley poor way of handling everyday challenges but it doesn't help.
Oh, boy! Am I talkative! If anyone bothers to read my 'brief' I'll be very glad to receive any signs of a listening ear somewhere out there. Till then - hang in there all of you. I think that we are all extremely courageous people.
bambiPS Forgot to click notify of follow-ups ):
poster:bambi
thread:549968
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20050601/msgs/549969.html