Posted by smilegirl on September 16, 2007, at 20:48:11
In reply to Newbie, posted by emily99 on September 16, 2007, at 11:00:20
Hi, I too am a newbie. I have read several posts and different threads, they have all been so helpful! My story (for the moment) is that I just called my therapist to ask for an appt this week - she told me during our appt last week that she had a medical appt come up and asked what I wanted to do....ofcourse I said "just cancel our appt for next week." I knew at that moment that I would need to see her but I just said, oh, no problem, cancel it - see you in two weeks! It has been pretty difficult lately, I have been dealing with memories of past physical abuse and a rape...things I either did not remember or did not discuss for over twenty years....so I really need to talk to her. I feel self conscious and vulnerable but need to get rid of the awful thoughts and feelings I have. My therapist is very good and I am beginning to feel safe talking with her. I've been seeing her for eleven months, it is slow going with me due to difficulties I have opening up/trusting. I really like her and that is scary too - I fear abandonment, I fear thoughts/feelings that we could have a mother/daughter relationship - here we go, she is a bit younger than my mother (oh no, Freud). I apologize to anyone reading this. The grammar and spelling are terrible! I digress soooooo much....Getting back to the first issue I started talking about w/calling my therapist and asking for an appt this week...I was in the process of leaving her a message and she picked up the phone - I froze because I had only mustered up the courage to leave a vm message (not talk with her.... eventhough I knew she would be calling me back sometime and I would have to speak with her then). She knew it was me calling and was very nice, we set an appt for Thursday evening and I can hold on until then. I usually see her Monday night..... I pray that someone out there has had similar thoughts and feelings because I feel so silly writing these things, alas, but they are true.
Please be well everyone, please??
Smilegirl ;~)
poster:smilegirl
thread:783218
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20061013/msgs/783346.html