Posted by Abadabbadoo on June 21, 2008, at 6:11:56
hi, new with lots of questions.
for starters, would a post on interpersonal/social dynamics go in social or in relationships? the latter seemed very romance-focused.
also, where would questions on absolute-stuckness and isolation go?
i thought i'd worked so hard developing cognitive skills, etc, as well as social skills. and now ... my old monsterbuddy is curled up cosily all over me. true, even in the less-awful times i've just been waiting to die, never really saw much sense in living. just staying out of the way, somehow making it so as not to cause discomfort to people who can't be bothered to keep an appointment to go for a walk.
the closer i've gotten to my core issue - the lack of belief that i have the right to a life for myself, and the conviction it wouldn't be possible even if i did feel entitled - the harder it's been to get professional support and the worse and worse i've felt.
my disdain for so-called professionals doesn't help. i fully recognize that i almost automatically manipulate them into showing they're no better. one professor for psychosomatic medicine broke down telling me his woes. a trauma therapist terminated my therapy via answering machine; at least she had the cojones to admit i'd kicked up her unresolved issues.
what bothers me is that i don't know what i do to alienate those i don't disdain. most seem to quickly be convinced that i don't need help at all. the first real-feeling help i'd found, a social worker at the womens' center, terminated my sessions a month ago, after a misunderstanding she adamantly insisted was difference of opinion, and since then it's been a freefall. i don't know how to move through this, other than moving and trying another womens' center.
poster:Abadabbadoo
thread:835755
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20080507/msgs/835755.html