Posted by Pfinstegg on November 10, 2002, at 19:21:55
In reply to Re: Has anyone successfully lost a therapist? » Pfinstegg, posted by Dinah on November 10, 2002, at 10:12:59
Thank you, Dinah, but I'm not very wise- I do think my old therapist was, though. The main issues that I had were the same as what I think yours are- a complete terror of, first, letting anyone be too important to me, and second, losing that person. In the beginning, it didn't look like those were the real issues- there were all sorts of more obvious ones on the surface, like depression, low-self-esteem, social anxiety, etc. But my therapist did a very interesting thing: he didn't waste any time on the surface, but focussed, right from the beginning, on the relationship between him and me- encouraging me to allow myself to put all of my diffuse fears, longings and fantasies onto that relationship, and to keep talking about it, no matter what! So we had to start right from the beginning dealing with termination- he made it very clear that it was not going to be endless therapy, so I couldn't avoid dealing with my terror of abandonment. If I had had my way, I probably would have liked to stay in therapy with him forever! I was tremendously attached to him, and felt, then, that I couldn't survive without him. The therapy was so painful to do that at times I could barely manage. But I know the really important things got done, somehow, and it actually took only two years of going twice weekly! Then, after termination, I was really grief-stricken for about a year, but, as that cleared up, I realized that I was somehow completely different- not problem-free, by any means, but able to solve the problems myself, and not feeling so empty or terrified any longer. He is still very important to me, but not in the sense that I have to actually go and see him- he's retired, anyway!
That was a long time ago now, and was followed by many good years. But, as you probably know from my posts here, I've got a big new problem now- major depression. With the help of the knowledge people on this board provided, I have looked into the biological aspects of it, and found so many things physically wrong- the cortisol, the thyroid etc. I actually have been given a diagnosis of Cushing's Syndrome- caused not by a tumor, but as the long-term aftermath of childhood neglect and abuse, triggered now by a number of deaths and losses. So, this time around, I am dealing with a real physical disease, and psychotherapy alone just isn't adequate. Still, the wonderful thing to me is that the work I did with my old analyst has held up for a lifetime- and I was even able to improve upon it by myself as time went along. That's true even now, despite the MDD. I couldn't have asked for anything better from therapy- and I wish for the same for you! It goes so much deeper than any medication possibly could..
Pfinstegg
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:1493
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1504.html