Posted by Dinah on September 4, 2003, at 4:18:56
In reply to Fees and meaning, posted by Dinah on September 3, 2003, at 10:28:46
When I signed with him over eight years ago, the fee was on a sliding scale and I was at the top of the scale. Then a few years later, worrying about it, I asked him if the fee had gone up, and told him I wanted to pay whatever the current fee was. He named a price which did startle me a bit, but I figured the yearly increase and thought it was in the believable range.
Then I started coming into contact with other therapists, some of whom were psychologists, who I would assume would charge more. And at a rocky patch, I called for appointments elsewhere. The psychologist he referred me to for personality testing looked stunned when I told innocently mentioned my hourly fee. Granted, any psychologist who clearly looked so stunned hadn't been in practice long. Another psychologist was $15 less. The MSW was $20 less. When it started to bug me, I looked up average rates and websites of local therapists. Except for one neuropsychologist, all were at least $15 less.
Now here's where my chronic feelings of shame come in. I am fully aware that during our therapy, and perhaps at the point I asked, my therapist has been "frustrated" with me and my rate of progress, and my personal characteristics. While I don't think he's "frustrated" any more (nearly as much anyway), I just sort of assumed that it cost more to see him because I was so "frustrating". More frustrating than the average client. And that's just been part of my belief for the couple of years I've been aware that he's rather high. Something that seemed so self evident that it didn't even bother me until lately. Why did it bother me lately? I don't know.
But as with many things, maybe it says more about my feelings about myself than it does about him. Maybe the top fee was just set high at his clinic, and you were expected to bargain down. I never was so good at bargaining. I do it once every seven to ten years when I get a car. And even then, I just follow the instructions. I did hope he'd give me at least a small discount when I went from one to two times a week. I'm always afraid he'll raise his rates, and I won't be able to go. When I mentioned my change in financial circumstances lately, he suggested going from twice a week to once a week, but didn't discuss rather I still fit the top of the sliding scale. It's a lot of things.
And it's difficult to mention because money is harder to discuss than sex. And because I am pretty sure he wouldn't say that yes, he's got a $10 annoyance charge on my rate, so what's the point in asking anyway. I don't know that I'll even believe his answer, since the idea is pretty ingrained that I'm unbelievably annoying.
Oh well. I suppose it's a good thing to have in the open, and so I did ask him. To his answering machine because I would never have the courage to ask him in person. And he answered about what I said above. That I was the one who insisted on paying the new rate, that I didn't get charged any more than any private pay client.
It does seem hard to believe, since he must have trouble booking new clients when he's obviously more than the standard rate in the area. But maybe he just thinks highly of his own work and isn't willing to work for less. Or maybe his standard sliding scale includes wiggle room for annoying clients. :) I'm a hard one to convince.
poster:Dinah
thread:256618
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030814/msgs/256822.html