Posted by ramsea on December 3, 2003, at 5:03:10
Maybe someone can help me? First off let me say that I have a thorough background of understanding when it comes to my illness, bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder too (I have worked with borderlines and been a friend and relative of borderlines). I have seen the charts that show how alike the two disorders are, and how the main difference has to do with the borderliners "fear of abandonment" and "lack of a sense of self". Perhaps also the borderliner has briefer periods of mood disorder.
I'm just saying all that because I am not after the usual borderline sites on the net and other book listings--I have gone to the major borderline sites and read throrougtly and bought tons of books on the subject and read them. All of this because I just don't get it. I really don't get it.I am bipolar 1, first diagnosed some 27 years ago.I can have psychotic features and tend to have Mixed Episodes, which is when you meet the criteria for mania AND depression at the same time.
I have had friends and people I worked with who were labelled borderline, and I know firsthand that they can get treated with great disrespect. It's frightening. I have always felt a little guilty, or even a lot, because I have been treated more humanely then the borderline-labelled ((thus far knock on wood)). So I ask myself, time and again, why wasn't she (it was always a female) just diagnosed bipolar?
Maybe they are more on the depressed side and don't get manic like I do, but they have deep mood problems, up and down, suicidal thoughts (and sadly, very sadly, some succeeded--in fact the ONLY successful suicides I've personally known, and that happens to be a few, were labelled borderline---so what was all that rubbish about them "just" attention seeking?????)
There is the same tendency to self-medicate, otherwise known as substance abuse; and because it stands to reason (IMHO) that if your moods are shifting all the time, you will have a fleeting sense of self because anyone would be unsure of who they are if the tables are constantly being turned on you.
How confident can you be when you can't trust your moods, when one month you are an extrovert and delighted and very excited, capable/creative, and then the next month slow, lethargic, apathetic, and having to cancel all the engagements and stop the projects you made the previous month? i.e., is it REALLY just borderliners who don't have a secure sense of self? Isn't that true of bipolars too?
In a book on Virginia Woolf, who was bipolar, the author quited several of her diary writings which described how difficult it is to maintain a sense of self in the midst of great mood fluctuations. And other books on bipolar describe this same thing. So clearly some famous writers on manic depression admit to this. How then can it be a special attribute of borderline PD?
Borderlines are offered much the same medicine. Dialectical Behav Therapy which was specifically created for borderlines is now being touted as great for bipolars too. So we seem to benefit from the same type of therapy too.
Sometimes it is said that childhood trauma/abuse is linked to borderline, but then it is also linked to bipolar. One study found that as many as 2/3 of bipolars have a significant trauma/traumas in their childhood background. Virginia Woolf for example was sexually abused as a little girl by her half-brothers. I was a victim of neglect and abuse. Other bipolars I know or know of were as well. So borderliners aren't alone with childhood trauma/abuse either.
Now I never cut or anything like that, but I did OD a few times. Does that make me borderline, or is that part of my bipolar illness, depressive side?????? It is extremely common for bipolars to overdose at some point or engage in risky/self-destructive behaviors. So the borderliners can't claim that one either.
I can't get my head round this, no matter how hard I try. I know very well that it is never just one symptom or even a few that make up a disorder, and that various disorders can share some of the same features--it's the total picture that counts. But that's just it!!!! Symptom for symptom, bipolar and borderline sound the exact, absolute exact same to me.
What I would dearly love is for someone to explain to me why their doctor believes they are borderline and NOT bipolar. Has anyone ever been told specifically this??? I care because I like to understand things, probably because I obsess about this a bit due to my relationships and background. Why don't I ask my pdoc? I did, he laughed and said I was bipolar. He didn't want to discuss this.
It can be controversial too, for some reason. I just would be really grateful if someone could explain to me why they are deemed to be borderline and not bipolar, or the reverse, deemed to be bipolar and nor borderline. Thanks to anyone who might be interested.
poster:ramsea
thread:286142
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/286142.html