Posted by fallsfall on December 9, 2003, at 1:09:14
In reply to Re: So what do I do now? » fallsfall, posted by Penny on December 8, 2003, at 8:19:32
My appointment with my therapist went OK today. I did read him the journalling and told him that I hesitated reading it because *I* was concerned that I was reading too many psych books. He asked what part of the journalling was about reading too many psych books. I didn't want to answer him. I didn't want to tell him what I read into what I had written. I didn't want to give him any ideas, and I didn't want to be wrong. I hesitated and then asked if we could defer that discussion. Surprisingly he said that we could - I think he wanted to get to the "therapists have to be perfect" discussion.
So then he waited for me to say something. I didn't know what to talk about. I summarized the writing, hoping that he would then ask a question. But he didn't. I have NEVER had this much resistance to him (there was one day that I wasn't WILLING to tell him - that I was searching on the internet for him - but that's not resistance, that is refusing). My mind was blank. I couldn't think of anything to say. I didn't know what I wanted to talk about.
He asked if I wanted to talk about the psych books, I said not then and asked him what HE wanted to talk about. He looked at me like I had three heads and said that I had just read a bunch of stuff that I wrote and he thought we should talk about that (rather than him coming up with a new idea) - which is what I meant anyway...
Anyway, so he asked about the part of my journalling that talked about my old therapist being perfect. The whole session was very slow - it took a long time to figure out how to answer his questions and I spoke very slowly. Lots of resistance. But we did make some progress. I didn't like where we ended up, though - something about reality...
Honesty worked well. Thank you all for your support.
poster:fallsfall
thread:287450
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/287907.html