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I Asserted

Posted by tabitha on December 10, 2003, at 2:38:01

Here I am with another group therapy report.

I told everyone I was annoyed with the way people have been using leading questions when people talk. I thought at least one other person would say 'Yeah, I've noticed that too' but NO. We spent an hour processing. Nobody really got exactly what I was talking about, a couple people criticised me for criticising them, then I cried bitter tears of frustration and got mad at the therapist who had told me to speak up with stuff like this against all my better instincts that say you can't say stuff like that, it will just damage the relationship. Some people said positive things but I was so upset I could barely take it in, and it's hard for me to trust it. I automatically expect people to get revenge later for criticism.

Eventually the discussion moved on and everyone said it was a good session. One woman said I'd inspired her to speak up about group process too. One guy said it gave him a chance to just let me be annoyed and not take it personally. One woman still seemed upset with me.

Afterward I felt that I liked the group members better. Like they looked physically more attractive to me and seemed like nicer people and everything. I wonder if being insufficiently assertive is what makes me not enjoy people a lot. Just like my mom, she didn't seem to enjoy anyone's company.

It's tough to know how this kind of lesson applies outside of therapy. I don't really think I can go around in regular life telling people I feel annoyed with them.

 

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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:tabitha thread:288238
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/288238.html