Posted by Penny on December 10, 2003, at 10:52:35
In reply to Re: Purpose in continuing therapy??? » Penny, posted by Dinah on December 10, 2003, at 10:18:46
> Sounds typically therapeutic. They really aren't supposed to give advice, but to do things like correct distorted cognitions. My therapist sometimes errs on the other side and gets frustrated when he can't think of advice that would be helpful when what I really need for him is to listen, not to "fix". I guess sometimes you can't take the man out of the therapist.
- Yes, I'm thinking that maybe, too, it's one of the differences between a clinical social worker and a psychologist - my former T (an MSW) was more likely to actually go through things with me - have me write down my budget in our session, for example - or give me names of places or people I could speak with. Oh well...
> You might be honest with her and tell her that temporarily you need a bit more coaching and counselling than she may be comfortable with. Does she think she can help you. Because it is true that when life circumstances are folding in on you it's hard to concentrate on therapy concerns.- I feel like I'm caught in a vicious circle - my mood is declining, so I'm not sure the medication is working properly, which makes it that much harder to deal with my financial/work issues, which makes me more depressed, etc. I told her that something is going to have to change, and she asked what I thought was going to change, and I told her that that's what I have to figure out. She did ask if I had thought about looking for a new job here at the university - something that pays more. I don't know what I want - I want to have more energy and stamina and not feel so fearful all the time so I can deal with these things!!! And I guess if she could give me some suggestions on how to not be so fearful. Maybe there really is nothing (or not much) she can do on her part to help with this. I don't guess I know what exactly I want from her.
> So is a financial counselor or career consultant a possibility? Is there any assistance available through your EAP program? I know you said you can't afford the legal fees to file bankruptcy. Is that what you need to do? If so, are there any legal aid facilities in your area? Do you have other support resources for more pragmatic advice?I don't know much about the EAP program here - but if it's anything like the EAPs through my last two jobs, it would be a waste of my time. The counselors I've seen in the past haven't been able to guide me toward anything or anyone helpful.
Part of my problem is that I make TOO MUCH MONEY. Ha. I think that's amusing...but, salary-wise, I do. I make too much money to qualify for aid, yet I don't make enough money to cover my expenses. I just got a letter from one of the hospitals here that I owe money to saying that I exceed their income limits for assistance, and demanding payment immediately. Chuckle. I've already explained to them that I would be happy to make payments, but they will only accept payments of a minimum of $70 or so a month, which I can't afford. I tried explaining to them that I can't make $70 payments, but they won't accept less, and instead have turned my account over to a collection agency. I'm anticipating another similar letter from the hospital I was in this summer that I also can't afford to pay. Even though these folks asked for my budget breakdown, so they can see for themselves that there's no money left over at the end of the month, they just look at my salary and say I make too much money. I'm glad to know that I make too much money. If I didn't have a car payment or car insurance I could swing some of these payments. Still, not all.
But, honestly, the best thing for me would be to file bankruptcy. I have an attorney, who told me that I could either file or I could choose to do nothing. I don't have any real property - the only thing I 'own' of value is my car, and I'm still financing that, so I don't actually own it. And my debts are all unsecured, so there's nothing to repossess (except the car, but I keep the payments on that up). But I don't have the $700 or so it would cost me to file, and I don't feel comfortable doing it on my own.
And I guess the whole point is that I don't see the point in going to see my therapist twice a week when I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything in there, because there's really not a whole lot she can offer me other than a sounding board. And I can get that here. I'm sure she WANTS to help, but I don't think she CAN help in this situation. And until I can get this part of my life situated, I don't see how I can focus on anything else.
I just don't know what to do, Dinah. Sigh sigh sigh.
P
poster:Penny
thread:288334
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/288362.html