Posted by Susan J on December 10, 2003, at 13:57:52
In reply to Why do I deserve the best?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 10, 2003, at 13:14:17
Hi,
I feel for ya, because I think very similarly to you in this respect.
> One of my "problems" is that I never think I DESERVE the best of anything.
<<I know it's hard to think you deserve the best when there are others out there who have it so much harder. But think of it this way. It's faulty logic to think that by somehow denying yourself the best care, you are going to enable others who are worse off to get the best care for themselves. There is no causation there.Also, every single human being on this planet deserves to be treated with compassion, respect, and dignity. Every single one. Um, which includes *you*! :-)
Sometimes I think we tell ourselves we don't deserve good things happening to us or for us, or whatever, as a way to steel ourselves against disappointment when they *don't* happen.
>>I have told him that I feel guilty for being there, that I am probably taking up his valuable time which could be better spent with a person whose problems are more severe.
<<OK, how about this? The healthier you are and the healthier other people are, the healthier our society will be. We will all start treating each other much better, and bad, unproductive behavior will occur less and less. So you are learning to be healthy, and that emotional health will definitely benefit not only you, but those around you.
> Has anyone been through this and come out of the other side?
<<I can't say I've been in the same situation, because I never thought I didn't deserve a particular therapist. But I've thought that I don't deserve a good, loving relationship, or don't deserve to have a kid, or whatever. I've come to the realization that I'm not the best person in the world, but I'm not the worst. I do try to be helpful in this world and I try to nurture myself, too. I try to focus on what's important in life, like happiness and compassion for others, and not be so hung up on superficial stuff like how I look or how others think I look. It's a constant battle, but I've been doing it pretty well this past year, and it really has made a difference.We are all valuable, unique beings. And just cuz we have a fault or two, even a few *bad* ones, doesn't negate the wonderful qualities we have....and the wonderful ones *you* have...
I promise. :-)
Susan
poster:Susan J
thread:288418
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/288438.html