Posted by Karen_kay on January 11, 2004, at 18:12:12
In reply to Re: Happy happy birthday baby! » Karen_kay, posted by DaisyM on January 10, 2004, at 20:23:22
It's ok not to pretend to be happy when you aren't. You don't have to pretend to be anything to me.... I like you for being Daisy hun!
And I've posted my share of negative ones here. So don't feel bad about not being chipper when you aren't feeling it, ok?I know what you mean about thinking that you are making a bigger deal out of everything than it is. I've told myself that so many times. Thoughts in my own head, "You're just making a big deal out of nothing. So what if things happened. Well girl s*** happens, you just have to deal with it and move on." The problem being that I HAVEN'T dealt with it and I HAVEN'T moved on. If I had then I wouldn't still be affected by it today. And I think the same is true with you. The thing is that crummy stuff does happen, and it happens every day. It's sad, very sad. But you have to deal with it. You aren't going to be able to heal if you don't. You aren't making a big deal out of nothing. If you were then you wouldn't be feeling the way you are. There's a problem there and you really do need to resolve it. And the only way you can do that is through therapy hun. I know it's hard, I wish it wasn't. But it is. Just think of how hard it is and the joy you'll feel once you heal will be twice (if not more) as pleasurable!
From what I've gotten out of CBT, it's already become automatic. My thoughts have automatically changed. I really don't understand it, and don't care to. If I try to unlock the mystery, maybe it won't work. But, I don't look in the mirror and hate the person I see anymore. Maybe it has to do with finding out why I had so much anxiety and opening the can of worms I did? I'm not sure. But, if you repeat thoughts long enough, you begin to believe them. If you think about it, it's true. I read a book one (not sure what though) but a therapist suggested (and even did it himself) that his clients carry around a piece of paper with just two or three phrases written that would pick them up if needed during the day. "I'm intelligent. I'm cute. I smell good." Change it to suit your needs, also things that you are working on. Also a big thing aobut CBT is challenging your thoughts. It isn't about changing your thoughts completely. I know I'm not a great cook and I wouldn't expect him to be able to make me believe otherwise. However, if I am feeling extremely stupid, though I know I'm not usually he's there to challenge that thought. (Or the thought that every thing is your fault, ect.....) But, it isn't something that I actively work on. Not at all! It just happened. Maybe because I'm on a mood stabilizer that works?
I too can be fine one day and then the next be falling apart! I don't understand it one bit! Or even from minute to minute, honestly. Maybe it's hormones, but probably there's a trigger that gets you thinking about things. If that's the case is there a distraction you find handy? Reading sometimes works for me. I know that last night for example, I started hallucinating and it really frightened me. I'm not quite ready to start losing my mind. I'm too darn young to have so many dx and such. Most people my age only worry about which bar to drink at and the final exam that could make or break their grade. Life doesn't seem fair at times. But, I'm trying to keep positive. It could be worse, it was only an auditory hallucination. At least it wasn't visual.... But, I'm a bit skeptical of telling my therapist, as he'll want me to go back on antipsychotics and I know it's only due to stress. I'm not manic or depressed right now. The timing just isn't fair, as I start classes Monday.
I hope you have all chocolate for your birthday! Even your house is made of chocolate! And chocolate soup to eat as well! And one candle should be a breeze to blow out, so your wish WILL come true!
My thoughts are with you hun!
poster:Karen_kay
thread:294726
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/299516.html