Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2004, at 11:06:39
In reply to Re: Oooohhhhh.... I don't feel so well....., posted by gardenergirl on January 12, 2004, at 10:38:18
I can't really put my finger on it. I know that I wanted to be a bit guarded in what I told her in an initial interview, and that under stress I wasn't as discreet as I wished to be. So now I feel like a stranger has seen my dirty undies or something. I spent years building up trust with my therapist. I didn't blurt anything out with him like I did today.
Plus, as can be expected, the conversation took some unexpected turns. She almost admitted that she was checking out my reserves of strength and abilities to cope. And I passed with flying colors till halfway home. Then a delayed reaction. Things like talking about my friend's death. Or probing to see how painful certain memories are for me.
I did my breathing and went to my safe place, and tried my first ever sublingual klonopin, and i'm feeling better except for some chest pain and residual hyperventilation symptoms. OK, I'm not feeling all better, but I don't feel like passing out. Does that mean I am strong enough to cope? (sad smile) My overall positive cognition I wish to instill is that I'm strong enough to truly feel. But I keep proving it wrong.
But it wasn't her fault. She was perfectly nice, answered all my questions, and wasn't a teeny bit like biofeedback guy. I don't even think she disliked me.
poster:Dinah
thread:299181
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/299817.html