Posted by Penny on January 16, 2004, at 23:42:04
In reply to Re: being referred on » Penny, posted by Karen_kay on January 16, 2004, at 16:31:59
> But, in your honest opinion, do you think he's acting or responding inappropriately? Honestly? Because I'm certain if he feels he is then he would seek supervision and from there, ect....
Well, I'm not sure why my opinion on this really matters, as he's your therapist, but...
I don't know him at all. And I only know you through babble. So I am speaking solely from extremely limited information! But, if it were me - if he was MY therapist - and he said some of the things to me that he's said to you, I can assure you that it would make me uncomfortable. Then again, I never would have admitted to him that I had ever fantasized about him! So I guess it wouldn't be an issue - probably wouldn't come up at all!
I would hope that, as a professional, he would seek supervision if he felt at all inclined to consider violating any major boundaries. But I have to leave it up to you, Karen, to know whether he really would or not, because, as I said, I don't know him. I guess I'm a bit wary because of some of the horror stories I've heard about unethical therapists and the pain they can cause, but, then again, perhaps some would consider my very own darling pdoc to not be as professional or rigid in his boundaries as he perhaps should be. Though none of his boundary crossing has ever been things that make me uncomfortable, except for offering to loan me money one time when I was strapped and he was worried about me. Talk about fulfilling the daddy fantasy...but I didn't borrow any money. And my T made me promise that if I felt that his offering such a thing would put me in an uncomfortable position, that I would bring it up with him.
But I guess it's all in how you look at it. You are in the situation. I am an outsider. You have your experiences and I have mine. So it's hard for me to say. On the surface, I would have to honestly say that I think he should really be a bit cautious in how he relates to his patients, or he should be keeping good records, or he should be seeking supervision to ensure that there is nothing that would get him in trouble or hurt you or other patients. And, I guess, in knowing how very young he is, I would hope that he's keeping good records and such anyway - it's too early in his therapy career for him to be an expert, Ph.D. or not, and while no therapist ever knows it all, 10 years from now he may look back on some of his conversations with you and wince with an "I can't believe I said that!"
At the same time, perhaps he's treating you as he would treat anyone your age, or perhaps he just knows he can be more laid back with you. I dunno. Just follow your gut. I feel YOU will know, really, if something is not right. And if it makes you uncomfortable, don't hesitate to tell him so! If not, then don't worry about it.
P.S. - Feel free to ignore any or all of what I wrote above!
P
poster:Penny
thread:300720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/301892.html