Posted by Tancred62 on March 20, 2004, at 11:13:45
In reply to Re: Questions about transference » Tancred62, posted by lonelygirl on March 19, 2004, at 21:30:07
Well, at least it is a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. I've been single for a long time now, and sometimes I really miss being close to a woman, not just sexually, but in the myriad of ways I could be. My pdoc (?)is a man, which is of no concern to me, because our conversations are strictly about medication. This may sound silly, but I really like women, especially funny, talkative women. I ran into a couple of women from work last night as I was coming out of the grocery store. We just sat down at the cheap outdoor furniture display near the entrance and talked for about a half hour. Just talked and talked and laughed. We're all in our 40s (me 41)and we've all got our relationship stories. But essentially I'm conflicted about relationships. Whenever I see couples shopping together in stores I look at them and study their movements and behavior and I always tend to see them as pathetic souls, needy and trapped by cultural and/or biological imperatives. I say "Thank God I'm not part of a couple. How disgusting." It's like people's personalities start to die when they become a pair. I see couples that look ultimately bored out of their minds. But if I see a woman alone in the same store I will say "I wonder what it would be like to be with her." I know I'm supposed to be babbling about medication, and I've used that word twice in this post so Dr. Bob won't refer me to some other board, but I'm really talking about relationships in general. I'm in the public library now, and I just love the fact that I don't have to think about the plans or schedules of another person. "What do you want to do tonight, dear?" God I'm selfish. But then again I can be lonelyman, too. But part of me likes being lonely, observing all the "other" people pretending to be "normal" and happy. You know, those "shiny happy people holding hands" that REM sung about. It's always catch 22, lonelygirl. I can't tell if being in a commited relationship or marriage means freedom or imprisonment. Probably both. I have to say, however, that my meds have taken away the totally negative, downright dark and sinister perspective I had, say 3 months ago. And it took a long time to get to this more tolerable place. I think I'll eat sushi for lunch at the supermarket; alone. I like doing that. It's MY routine.
Later, folks.
poster:Tancred62
thread:323332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040313/msgs/326390.html