Posted by Joslynn on April 5, 2004, at 22:31:56
In reply to Re: feeling abandoned worried LONG, posted by gardenergirl on April 5, 2004, at 21:26:16
Thanks for the responses Gardnergirl and Fallen.
He does not have a receptionist, I think that's the root of a lot of his problems. He does all his scheduling himself. He does have a part-time biling person who comes in a few times a week.
There is no answering service. He has office voicemail and a pager for real emergencies. As far as I know, there isn't another pdoc in charge. He works with other pdocs but I do not know their names or how to reach them. If I did have an emergency, I don't know what I would do, I guess then I would page him and he would call back, but I want to save that for real emergencies, like a bad drug reaction or someone I know died, not this.
I did give him options for times in previous msgs.
I keep thinking he is punishing me by ignoring me. That doesn't even make sense as a transference thing, because I usually didn't get ignored, I would get yelled at or my mom would get yelled at because of me. I don't remember getting the silent treatment, I yearned for silence in my house! That was my prayer, for peace and quiet, no drinking or yelling anymore.
Someone I know very well has an appointment with him the wknd after next, so at least I will know from that person if he is alive or dead.
This is just so strange. He doesn't usually tell patients when he is on vacation because he is afraid of being robbed, because he has home address on stuff. Personally, I think that's a bit paranoid, and if he is that worried, he should just use his business address for everything.
I just think he is treating me in a thoughtless and rude manner, but one of my friends thought I was overreacting. And even my therapist said, "It's not a crisis, he'll call back."
I think it's rude, and to realize that someone who supposedly cares about you can treat you rudely, thoughlessly, as if you are just a stranger, when you are in a therapeutic relationship with that person...well, it makes no sense to me.
I have calmed down about it, but it makes no sense, he is not the person I thought he was and that hurts more than anything.
I have these fantasies of getting another pdoc and having that person calling him and saying, by the way can you transfer me your files on J, I am her new doctor now. I am taking over her care. She is no longer your patient.
Or I could just disappear, poof, but he would ask the other person who sees him about me. He would at least be able to ascertain if I am alive, which is more than I am able to do about him.
I don't want to go there in person, I feel like that would be stooping to a low, desperate level. Yeah ok I feel low and desperate, but I don't want to announce that to him, the patients in the waiting room, the other pdocs hanging around, etc.
Oh, I just remembered the name of the other doctor in his practice, it just came to me. But I don't want to call him either.
I think I have had it with men to be perfectly honest. My pdoc was one of the few men who I have trusted all this time with all these feelings and now he is ignoring me and I don't know why.
poster:Joslynn
thread:333092
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040402/msgs/333142.html