Posted by Racer on April 20, 2004, at 9:17:32
In reply to Re: Answer the Question » DaisyM, posted by terrics on April 20, 2004, at 7:49:19
But it always helps in the end. That's been my experience.
Talking doesn't change anything. You still have to go out there and be SuperWoman. But while you're being SuperWoman, all those goblins have a field day: they get to sneak around, all through your psyche, making mischief, and scaring the beejeebers out of you. What makes talking about it so helpful for me is that I have to look at the goblins, give them names. Once I've done that, they're just little goblins, no longer Scary Monsters who terrify me. My image is a locked room, with all sorts of scary monsters hiding in the dark. It feels as if they'll kill me if I open the door, so I try not to. But when I open the door, with the help of the therapist -- a sort of Goblin Hunter -- I can turn on the lights and see that those scary monsters are about two feet high, have square feet, no claws, and hardly any teeth for biting. At that point, I can find out their names, what they want, and how to battle them most effectively.
(Personally, my goal is to turn some of them into Brownies, so that they'll clean my house while I sleep.)
{{Daisy}} I'm very sorry you're going through this. The only thing I can offer is this: remember the Primal Scream craze a while back? Think of complaining and whining to your therapist as being your primal scream. There's nothing sinful in saying, "Why me??? It's not fair!!!" You're not going to stop doing anything just because you say those things -- they're words, and they create a sort of tunnel for those overwhelming feelings of stress and distress to leave your body. That's what you want, right? To get it out of your body? So, go into your therapist's office, where no one else can hear you whine, and shout to the universe that you've been cheated out of what's rightfully yours! Then, after you've done that, work with your therapist about how it feels to let it go a little bit, how it feels not to be perfect in EVERY way.
I won't say anything about your husband's behavior, because we both know that fear and pain does terrible things to people. I do send hope that it's not all like that, that he still reminds you of why you fell in love in the first place.
And Daisy? You are on my mind. I'm saying lots of secular prayers for you, and some agnostic prayers, too. Let me know how you are, 'K?
poster:Racer
thread:337911
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/338041.html