Posted by joslynn on April 27, 2004, at 8:33:11
In reply to in love with my psychiatrist, posted by AppleBerry on April 26, 2004, at 14:57:58
Welcome Apple Berry!
I have a loveable pdoc too, well, most of the time. I would not say I am "in love" with him but there used to be a lot of feelings of loving him in an abstract way and wanting him to love me either like a lover or a father. At the same time, I knew it was transference and in my head. It had an ebb and flow.
First, I researched everyting I could about transference. That helps a lot.
And because I knew he was married (wears wedding ring) that helped a lot too. I am one of those people who has to feel there is some sort of chance in my crushes, and I know I could never have an affair with a married man. Plus, I really wouldn't have wanted that at all! It is easy to find a middle-aged married man who wants to have an affair, but to find a good pdoc, that's hard! I decided I would rather have the good pdoc than an affair. (Keep in mind, I knew the whole time this person would never have an affair with a patient, he is very ethical about boundries etc.)
So I decided in my head that he could love me more effectively as a healer than as a lover. (Of course, there was no realistic chance of him being a lover anyway, and I would have run screaming from the room if it started. But just making that decision in my head, that the best way he could love me and help me was to be a good doctor...that helped things a lot.)
Now I do love him, but in a more detached way. I love him as he is in that room, but I know what I really need to do is find someone I can love outside of that room. And neither of us could truly love each other outside of that room.
But in that room, in the therapy, I think it is a form of love. However, it cannot and should not exist outside of that bubble, IMO.
We all deserve to have our own relationships outside of that room, but hopefully, what goes on inside the room can help make that happen with an appropriate person in the "outside world."
poster:joslynn
thread:340262
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040426/msgs/340511.html