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Re: One more question...

Posted by pegasus on June 1, 2004, at 13:01:54

In reply to One more question..., posted by Pandabear on June 1, 2004, at 0:29:45

My T invited me to call whenever I was so wound up that I started thinking about injuring myself. I did a couple of times, and he generally called right back, and tried to help me figure out something else that I could do. I never found it particularly helpful, though. Eventualy I hit on my own solution of writing to myself when I got into that state, and that helped a lot. Especially when I started thinking that I might give my writing to my T to read. So, then it was an actual form of communication. Often it's when I can't communicate that I get wound up and want to hurt myself.

Early on he also had me start a journal of my SI behavior. So I'd record when, what I did, what I was thinking etc. I think, though, that that was a bad idea, as it encouraged me to injure more, so that I'd have more in my journal. I kind of liked having a thick external record of my internal pain; it made it feel more real somehow. Also, I always thought that I'd eventually share the journal with him, which is why I kept recording entries. When I realized that he wasn't going to do anything with the journal in therapy, I stopped keeping the journal.

pegasus

 

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