Posted by mair on June 23, 2004, at 8:14:38
In reply to Re: Another Suicide Question, posted by daisym on June 22, 2004, at 2:52:42
Daisy - you said alot that I can identify with. I probably do drift that way particularly when I feel in need of an escape. Most of the time when I dwell on suicide, I know my resistance to feeling depressed is low. (unfortunately very true right now) At such times I occasionally "wake up" enough to realize that I'm working pretty hard trying to convince myself that it's a good idea. However there are definitely other times when I really don't feel particularly depleted and I'm functioning well and yet am still capable of the harsh sorts of judgments that lead me to thinking about suicide. I guess my therapist would say that even though I don't feel depressed, what she would perceive to be distorted thinking is a byproduct of depression. Maybe it's just that I've lived with these thoughts for such a long time that it's easy to fall back on them.
I think shadow's statements make sense, although I don't think it's the way things would play out for me. Even when depressed, I certainly function well enough to put a suicide plan into action, and the impulse and tendency to trigger the impulse are stronger. However, I do have to say that when I'm more depressed, I'm also more willing to acknowledge that the way I feel is transitory and that the suicide aspect may be the product of distorted thinking. So maybe in that sense I'm somewhat safer.
All in all, whether depressed or not, I need to do everything I can to make it difficult to act on the impulses, and to avoid placing myself in situations where suicide becomes an easy option.
Mair
poster:mair
thread:358810
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040614/msgs/359347.html