Posted by shadows721 on July 19, 2004, at 12:58:47
In reply to Re: Doctor role muddle, posted by Tanya K on July 19, 2004, at 9:31:21
Please don't get me wrong here, but I don't think you are the one that should be reassuring the doc. I feel as an RN it should be the other way around. Who is really taking care of whom? You seem very concerned about how the doc feels. That's where the muddling comes into play. The doc should be able to take care of themselves. You shouldn't have to be a "perfect" or "good" patient. Patients with terminal illnesses go through an a range of grieving and there anger sometimes gets directed at loved ones and their docs. The docs are trained to recognize this and handle it.
My concern, Tanya K, is you and not your doc friend. If you want a shopping friend, this is the right person. But, this person isn't able to stay objective from a medical stand point due to the close friendship. From my own experience, one can't see clearly when you love someone in the clinical setting. It's like you freeze. Trust me. This is why there is a rule that you can't treat family. I know she isn't family, but it sounds like she feels very close and is having her own grieving over your condition.
You are the focus. Don't worry about transference. Can't you still have your friendship without seeing her as your primary GP? Have her as your support person or a backup GP. Tanya, this is your life and you have a right to your feelings. You have a right to feel the gammit and not worry about protecting someone who doesn't have this illness. It's okay to be thinking of you know. You are the patient and you don't have to take care of anyone but you.
I have a close loved one with terminal ovarian ca and the past few years all she has done with her life is just try and take care of adult kids self-created problems. While that is her choice, I don't think that I would do the same. I would be like, "You adult children need to grow up and take care of yourselves, because I am going to enjoy every minute I can." I would tell them to either join me or step out of my way. My point here is some people will take up some of your precious time with their issues. Now, is the time for you do use every minute of your life as you wish. This is your life, Tanya. What do you want to do with it? In my eyes, this is the true focus.
poster:shadows721
thread:367637
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040716/msgs/367771.html