Posted by gardenergirl on August 13, 2004, at 7:51:27
In reply to My first crisis call, posted by Aphrodite on August 13, 2004, at 7:08:49
Aphrodite,
I'm sorry that you are in a rough patch. I think calling was very brave of you. You took a risk and it turned out okay. Good for you! I'm glad your T was able to comfort you last night. And I'm glad he is checking in on you today. He sounds like a very caring person.I struggle with the independent/dependent conflict, too. I was recently reading an article in one of my Psych. journals that talked about how some clients have this same conflict. The author's hypothesis (and this is not a new concept, but he explained it very well) is that the child learned to be independent very early on, basically foregoing the natural dependency on primary caregivers, due to the caregiver's "failure" to provide a consistent emotionally nurturing and validating environment. The author equates this "I've got to do it all myself" view as somewhat narcissitic as we all need to be able to depend on others. Or at least be interdependent.
I feel like I saw myself in this article. It's easier for me to rely on myself (and perhaps fail) than to trust someone else enough to depend on them. This makes it hard for me, for example, to work in groups, to delegate, to ask for help, etc. Not to mention forming a dependency that is comfortable on my T. I like to use a phrase my T uses a lot...I come by this honestly. But it's still hard.
Okay, enough rambling. I guess what I want to say is that perhaps you also come by this conflict honestly. But you are working on it. That takes courage and trust.
Wishing you peace and wellness. Take care, and please keep posting if it helps.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:377108
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/377116.html