Posted by vwoolf on August 19, 2004, at 14:37:32
In reply to The Therapeutic Relationship, posted by Susan47 on August 18, 2004, at 22:23:23
It is a few weeks since I last wrote. I have been feeling very vulnerable on this site after exposing some quite deep feelings and finding the very nature of what I was saying thrown into discussion by posters who were questioning the foundations of the the therapy process. I can see that there are debates of a theoretical nature on this board that live side by side with personal accounts about the therapy process, and that sometimes they are uncomfortable neighbours. But I have felt wounded and insecure, particularly since I was rapped over the knuckles by Dr Bob for my knee jerk reaction to a post I felt touched a personal cord.
Anyway, I have decided to try and get over my hurt. I value the exchange on this board too much.
You may remember I recently decided to stay in therapy with my female T, in spite of my very negative feelings towards her. Over the last few weeks things have changed so much, and I now have great feelings of tenderness towards her. She seems so gentle and kind, and really caring.
A good example of why came a few days ago. Recently I received some news that has made my future financial position seem very fragile. I told her about it, and expressed my fear that next year I would not be able to afford therapy. She assured me that we would find a way to keep going, that I would never be turned away from the door. She said she would be prepared to look at discounted rates, late payment, slower modules, any way to keep helping me. I suddenly realised that it really is not about the money. She actually does care. It is a most peculiar sensation. I think it’s the first time in my life that I have found someone who is prepared to care for me unconditionally. It is changing the way I see the world.
This may be naïve, and I may write and tell you the opposite in a few days time. But somehow I don’t think so.
poster:vwoolf
thread:379308
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/379509.html