Posted by 64Bowtie on September 13, 2004, at 2:03:52
Jenstar,
> I don't think your ideas are confined to 'life coaching' -- a book on therapy I was reading lately seemed to echo this philosphy, albeit in gentler words...
>
<<< Thanx for your post... I hope I don't come across defensive... I hear you relating the theorys of a certified therapist. He employees his theorys inside his practice. I never use my theorys to do therapy, ever. I am motivated by my theorys to develop awareness of tools in clients. I may argue from a point of view that these are good reasons for using certain tools. The client uses the tools to help themselves and will be able to use these tools for the rest of their lives, whether working with a therapist or not. These are all common sense abilities, I just remind folks that they have them and can use them, and when. I don't "vacuum clean" the bad stuff people seem to feel stuck to. That's a good job for a therapist, not my job.> You wrote:
>
> "Like I've said many times in many posts, I hear cogniphobia!
><<< Whether anyone wants to give me credit or not, I invented the term "cogni-phobia" in the year 1999 in my writings. I noticed that there is a common thread through all phobias in that phobics are more afraid to think about the uncomfortable feelings than they seem to be when confronted with the actual scarey occurrence. I deduced that "cogni-phobia" is sort of a grandfather phobia underlying all other phobias. Once you confront the scarey feelings in a safe place with guided imagery, the scarey feelings are reported to suddenly seem silly. I as a coach don't trivialise the awfull feelings, the client suddenly does it on their own. This is an awakening; an epiphany for the client. They do it. I don't.
> Many Babblers have a phobia against thinking;
<<< This is where I overstepped the bounds set by Dr. Bob. I did it to myself and got blocked. Maybe I would have gotten smartenned-up by a one or two week block, Dr Bob has his system, and I accept his judgement.
> ...seeing themselves as they are in their mind's eye, and accepting what they see. I can't see any reference equating phobias to pathology. Cancer is pathological. Phobias are faulty beliefs based on flawed information, being enacted out physically, much to the clients discomfort and despair. When confronted about their fear of thinking is done successfully, phobics overturn years and decades of conflictedness and confusion within minutes. I have witnessed hundreds of successful encounters and done a few myself, where the conditions were right. Pathologies like those of a Charles Manson or a Jeffry Daumer, don't get fixed by coaching"
><<< Unfortunately this part was overlooked, which cleans up my mistake.
> A book I read recently reminds me of your ideas. It's called Reality Therapy in Action by William Glasser, M.D. Glasser believes that many serious psych issues can be 'cured' by helping the client see that they have choices and that they are not trapped into a cycle of chronic behavior. He cites examples of how he helps correct people with OCD, who hear voices, suffer from alcoholism without drugs.
> He does also posit that relationships are the basis for many issues, but what interested me most was his emphasis on personal choice and how you can overcome many 'pathologies' with different actions, mindset and choices. He DOES say "in fine print" (so to speak!) that there are some things that cannot be fixed through choice & talk alone, but he chooses to focus on the things that CAN.
>
<<< Do you think therapists have an exclusive right to techniques of this kind or that? Can I borrow the motive to encourage the client without employing the proceedure and not be guilty of therapy?> Have you read this author?
<<< Not yet...> What do you think about him?
<<< ???> Am I right in finding similarities between your ideas and his?
<<< I hope I've provided the clues...> ON the one hand I found the book sort of inspirational and "bootstrappy"
<<< He may be "bootsrtappy". Please don't lump me with him.> -- reminds me that I have choices and I am actually choosing some of my more destructive and depressing behaviors, even if it's easier to believe that I'm "locked in" and can't change them. On the other hand, I felt he kind of took it too far and didn't give enough credit to 'broken brains' and their difficulty in getting fixed.
>
> I have to say, though, that I did initially feel a bit offended when I read your line about "cogniphobia" here in babble-land. I don't believe it's a phobia, exactly -- more of a basic human nature trait to stick to the comfortable and the known.
<<< I invented the term for a specific trait which is not comfort seeking, but more general avoidance.>A lot of people here are genuinely trying to work on issues, and struggling to make progress, and I think it feels a bit demoralizing to have the struggle trivialized or marginalized, categorized as a blindness.
>
> I think some of the deeper psych issues -- whether they are actual pathology or just a lifetime of choices that have solidified into a way of life -- make it very hard to 'choose' mental health and sunshine, even if we logically want to and know we should.
>
> Do you REALLY think it's congiphobia? Really? Or were you just using that word b/c it comes close to describing us, and because kind of sounds cool... (it IS a cool word!)
>
> Anyway, I believe you got blocked for using "cogniphobia"
<<< I got blocked for alluding to Babblers doing it. If I had used some other universe category of folks, I probably wouldn't have been blocked.> but when you return I would really be interested in hearing your thoughts.
>
> Yours in thought...
> JenStar
>
<<< Here I is, Jenstar!Rod
poster:64Bowtie
thread:390195
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040911/msgs/390195.html