Posted by lookdownfish on September 18, 2004, at 16:33:34
In reply to reality vs fantasay (long), posted by lucy stone on September 18, 2004, at 8:34:31
Lucy
Much of what you say resonates with me. I am plagued with a longing for a parent-type figure. The main difference being that my fantasy is generally (but not always) for a woman rather than a man. (I am a married woman).
What I would like to ask you is, in what specific ways are you trying to give up the fantasy? Do you believe that you can get to a point when the fantasy is destroyed, never to return. I really want to be rid of it and I am kind of sick of it taking over my mind. It sort of comes and goes. I sometimes feel I have made real progress with, and I'm ready to finish therapy. But if life is at all difficult, then the feelings come flooding back. The fantasy is like a refuge for me, somewhere for my mind to go when I'm finding life difficult, or not getting my emotional needs met. I have been processing it with my therapist, of course, and that helps because it contains the problem somewhat, but I still don't feel any closer to a solution. And I'm beginning to feel there isn't one. I guess the key point is when you say you need to grieve the loss before moving on. How does one actually do that? I don't really know where to start. Any further thoughts would be appreciated.By the way, I always enjoy your posts, and have never seen you post anything remotely hurtful.
ldf
poster:lookdownfish
thread:392271
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040918/msgs/392371.html