Posted by ron1953 on September 29, 2004, at 14:20:52
In reply to Paranoid about response, posted by RosieOGrady on September 29, 2004, at 12:40:37
Rosie:
I bet this isn't the first time you've felt this way. I used to be very sensitive about what others said or thought. I still often have initially sensitive responses to similar stuff. These instantaneous reactions aren't something you can eliminate completely. They are very deep-seated in our "lizard brains". The "trick" is to recognize it immediately with our conscious, thinking brain and get it under control with reality-based logical thinking. It's taken me a lot of practice, and I still have to practice. Even our own self-critical thoughts can have the same effect. The broader psychological problem is allowing others' opinions, real or assumed, to be more important than our own. For example, if somebody says I'm stupid, does that make it true?
Opinions are like a__holes; everybody's got one. You can please 50% of people 50% of the the time, so why bother trying - you may as well be yourself and let the chips fall where they will. So, don't sweat it. There's always going to be somebody who's critical of you at some time or another. If it hits a nerve regarding something you'd like to change about yourself, you really shouldn't be surprised - you're already working on it. If it's just bull, cruelty or simply something you don't understand, as in the case of the post you're upset about, use your conscious brain and choose to ignore it. Like so many of the thought processes we want to change, it's going to take practice, practice, practice.
poster:ron1953
thread:396836
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040925/msgs/396871.html