Posted by alexandra_k on October 30, 2004, at 20:03:43
In reply to Re: Worried about T1's Boundaries » alexandra_k, posted by daisym on October 30, 2004, at 15:20:56
Thanks for responding, it is interesting to me to think about this, and interesting to hear anothers perspective. I think that probably different therapists have different degrees of attachment for different clients, but I would like to think that in my case I am 'cared about' (ie treated with respect, attempted to be helped etc) simply in virtue of being allocated to a clinician.
Where I am coming from on this is that I take termination personally. There was nobody who would work with me and I took that very personally indeed. Then when I was picked up by a p-doc I told him that I didn't know how I felt about that. Him working with me not because he wanted to, but because he 'felt sorry for me'.
He said that is wasn't personal. It wasn't a matter of 'wanting' or 'not wanting' to work with me. It wasn't a matter of him 'liking' or 'not liking' me. He said it was an ethical decision where I needed to work with someone and nobody else would and so (personal factors removed), it was the right thing for him to do.
I liked that way of looking at the situation.
I don't like thinking people are paid to care(I am reminded of Dr. Colin Ross - 'I didn't go to college for 10 years to be a rent a friend)
but I am worried about a clinician becoming personally attached to me in case their attachment interfeares with my needs and ends up being detrimental to me. Probably being personally attached to a client doesn't make it inevitable that it interfeares with a clients needs (??? I have no idea). But, I have a history of being abused by authority figures who become 'too attached' to me. So, yeah, I am probably a bit phobic.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:407249
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/409360.html