Posted by Aphrodite on November 24, 2004, at 15:03:40
In reply to I think I'm losing it a little, posted by daisym on November 23, 2004, at 23:48:14
Nope, you're not losing it -- you're being honest.
I have been reading some Jungian stuff about the traumatized psyche, and the theory goes that the inner child can be split as well into the rebellious child wanting to be completely indulged and the perfect, dutiful angelic child. The weakened ego of the adult sometimes fluctuates between the two.
I know you've read Winnicott who stated that reminders of the limitations of therapy, such as the end of the therapy hour, can set off tantrums in the young and wounded parts of the psyche. It makes perfect sense. The child who did not get the things she needed and is getting to experience that respect and safety for the first time rebels against the unfairness of the limitations.
I always question, once I understand my similar longings and behavior, what I am supposed to do to overcome it. The answer my T gives is that the pain, the grief, is part of the healing process. It does hurt so badly. But the connection, albeit limited, makes our ego stronger and more able to regulate and soothe itself. But I am slowly (finally) getting the picture that this is a long road indeed. Your T did a great job of validating your feelings and explaining their origin, but did he give you any ways to ease the pain in the meantime? (I'm probably asking more for myself -- I need those answers, too!)
It's such a hard time and added to that is the stress of the holidays. You have my permission to eat as much chocolate as you and little Daisy desire. I'm sorry things are so tough right now.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:419566
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041123/msgs/419799.html