Posted by alexandra_k on December 3, 2004, at 0:27:23
In reply to Re: I explained / complained via email...(long) » alexandra_k, posted by Aphrodite on December 2, 2004, at 19:47:26
Thanks Dinah for your suggestion of a mature way to handle this :-)
That email was okay, but I have to admit that I sent him two borderline abusive and very sarcastic emails before that :-(
I was very pleased at the outcome. It really was much much better than I expected. I had numbed myself real good before I went to see him and he did seem to notice that something was a bit different about how I was acting.
Now what the hard thing for me to do is going to be putting those hurts behind me and moving on and not holding them against him.
I feel a bit like I humiliated / degraded myself by saying that despite all that I still wanted to see him even if none of it changed. But he did respond in the best possible way with apologising and attempting to do somehting practical to show me that he was genuinely sorry. He also took great pains to address every point that I brought up.
I have two weeks to forgive.
It is hard because I do feel numb now because of all that stuff. Especially because when I brought up some abuse stuff he didn't see me for a month. Rationally, I have moved on. But emotionally I am afraid of him and afraid of opening myself up again. I think that the only thing that may fix that is time.But I need to make a special effort not to numb myself for the next session. And not to confuse him with abandonments and abuses of the past.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:423224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041123/msgs/423658.html