Posted by 64bowtie on December 28, 2004, at 13:55:25
In reply to social perfectionism still ruling my life, posted by jonh kimble on December 28, 2004, at 2:57:33
Parenting works best by induction of a moral coda on to us. Sadly, parents don't know when to quit. Picture an 85 yearlod Mom hassling her 70 yearold son for not living upto (down to) her expectations on this or that issue, from her death-bed! There is a time for inducing and a time for concerned-observing. After the teen becomes a person, back off and get a grip!
Assume the parent screwed-up and you are continually shuddering with fear of wrongness. Look carefully at beliefs. Beliefs are a tool we can use to filter in whatever works and filter out the junk of life.
Chronic criticism can render us useless. This is induction of beliefs, preventing us from exericising our options. If the belief is faulty based on false opinions, conflict with what we see and hear right in front of us can render us useless.
In 2000, I hypothesised that suspending beliefs, one at a time, long enought to discover if:
1. the belief is useful...
2. the belief is our own...
...we can then decide to keep, update, or discard the belief. Eventually our lives become our own lives. We filter new stuff more effectively improving our lives, releasing the bonds of faulty beliefs.Rod
poster:64bowtie
thread:434899
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041228/msgs/435039.html