Posted by lonelygal on January 18, 2005, at 0:27:44
In reply to Re: :(, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 17, 2005, at 23:37:50
you're being way too nice to me.
i keep trying to sleep, but i can't sleep. and, i'm gonna be so tired and useless at work tomorrow and get people mad at me.
thanks on the offer to babblemail too, i don't know how to do that though, nor do i even remember the e-mail address i signed up for this site with- it was just a temporary one i had.
yeah, i really wish you could give her to me. why did i develop a relationship with her in the first place if it was gonna hurt so much and i knew she would graduate soon? and i know its all me that is hurting, that i was just a client and didn't affect her like all this is doing to me. i feel like i'm always insignificant and disposable. it's been that way my whole life. father, family, friends, boyfriends. i'm easy to leave behind. i feel like i dont have enough value to be kept. gosh, it hurts.
and now i'm really really scared of wed. my appt with new t. why would i do this to myself again? i know the answer is b/c i really can't make it on my own, but still its such a huge price to pay. that in order to get help, i will most likely be hurt again if i get attached to new t b/c i know it would just be for 6 months anyways, that i'll be moving then. everything sucks a whole whole lot.
> You're very welcome and I am sorry for your pain. I wish I could give her to you but I cannot ...and I wish I could make those tears come so maybe you might start to feel some better but that might make me sad to hurt you more even if it was the road to well...BUT I can BE here for you and I will be for some time tonight maybe another hour or so you can babblemail me or post I will pop in and out OK? HUGE HUGS and thank you on my family.
>
> > thanks so much.
> > i'm sorry about your family.
> >
> >
> >
> > > It may be an option but no please. Ok now on others not knowing how badly you feel. Maybe we don't exactly but nobody knows anyones pain and to what extent...I see how much pain youre in online, I am sure those who know you in person and who may have heard you talk on this know you feel badly...we do not need one offing themselves to GET IT...My whole family died I am sure people I know and knew; knew HOW DEEPLY I must hurt not exactly. Honey my point is people know youre hurting we just don't know how to help correctly or maybe we cannot help except to ride it out WITH you . WE ARE HERE..AND CARE..FOR waht it is worth I SEE YOU youre not invisable to ME
> > >
> > > HUGS
> > > > i keep obsessing over her. i want her back. it's not fair. i feel like i'm gonna cry, but no tears.
> > > > right now i feel like if i off-ed myself people would see how much i am hurting. and it would almost be worth it. b/c right now i'm so invisible. and pathetic. and alone.
> > > > (just for clarification, not gonna kill myself tonight. not in the mood to make a decision with such finality tonight. just seems like a reasonable option)
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
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poster:lonelygal
thread:443169
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050117/msgs/443586.html