Posted by pinkeye on February 22, 2005, at 17:26:30
In reply to Re: Two Steps Forward, One Back » pinkeye, posted by Susan47 on February 22, 2005, at 16:31:10
I don't know the complete correct answer to this one. But I used to think that I need a perfect person to fall in love with - and that I can marry a person and have a good relationship only if I am very deeply in love with the person. And that both of us have to be very much in love with each other etc etc..
And I used to think that I haven't met anybody I wanted to live with or that if I found someone I liked, they were already married.
But now I am realizing that I probably could have led a reasonably satisfying marital life with atleast a bunch of men that I have met in life even those whose proposal I turned down. Looking back, I could have marreid them and been perfectly happy with them. And I keep meeting lot of very good men everyday.. maybe not perfect, and not all of them excellent or great, but most of them pretty decent - I could have a decent relationship with lot of them. IT may not be a very romantic or deeply fulfilling relationship - but nevertheless, a warm and caring and amicable relationship with little bit of friendliness is possible.. and they don't even have to be from the same culture that I am from. As long as I can strike some mutual ground I am fine.
Your therapist was probably extremely good and handsome and caring, but I am pretty sure you will be able to settle for someone not nearly as good as he BUT available to you and that you would be happy with them instead of pining for this perfect therapist who is not available to you even little bit romantically.
poster:pinkeye
thread:461726
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050218/msgs/461909.html