Posted by Aphrodite on February 24, 2005, at 14:33:08
In reply to Re: Making mountains out of mole hills » Speaker, posted by daisym on February 23, 2005, at 0:55:53
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> Isn't it amazing how we recreate old patterns, relive old scripts? Yes, I think I'm hearing what I expect to hear, not what is really being said. I also think I'm pushing and testing to see if my therapist will get mad or upset with me. I really do feel bratty with him right now -- I want what I want and I don't want to be told "no". I find that I think he should be able to read my mind and pick up on little hints and when he doesn't, I'm destroyed. I KNOW this is old -- it is replaying what I wish and wanted from my mother. I wanted her to see what was happening without me telling her. I wish naming it, would make me stop doing it!
>I think it sounds like great progress, though painful, to let little Daisy be who she really is and not just a good girl. Kids are both sweet and bratty and you are probably finding it hard to believe you can be lovable that way -- for who you are not for what you can give or do to please people.
I just started telling and showing a little of my "inner brat" to my T, and he told me he liked her for being "warm and spicy". I just loved that description because I have never been complimented for my . . . um . . . "spiciness". It's incredibly healing to have that full acceptance.
I also was telling him how transparent I thought I was when I was little and was angry when no one noticed. He tells me what I have to learn is to *tell* and to ask for what I need. It's such a hard thing when no one was attuned enough to "get it" when we needed them to.
I'm so sorry for the struggle you're going through.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:462001
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050218/msgs/462772.html