Posted by Daisym on April 1, 2005, at 10:46:27
In reply to About quitting...., posted by LittleGirlLost on March 31, 2005, at 12:05:08
Don't you think telling your therapist you want to quit is an honest expression of how you are feeling? It doesn't matter if it is because you are frustrated, scared, resentful or even if it is a cry for attention or a test...
I've brought this up tons of times. "It is too painful to keep going", or "I miss you too much in between and that isn't healthy" or "I feel too overwhelmed at work" or some other reason. My therapist is always respectful but firm about exploring the "why". And he'll ask me after a discussion, "did I pass the test?" if he thinks it was little daisy somehow testing his commitment.
I don't know. It seems to me that a good therapist would know where THEY are in regards to the therapy and if the client feels the need to stop, and they agree, then this is still discussed. And if the therapist was frustrated and/or thinking the therapy wasn't effective or that it was stuck, THEY should bring it up and talk about transferring or some other way to help the client. Therapists are human, there are times when they have done all they can. And I guess there are times when they get angry too. But I think it is their job to be able to hear "I want to quit" without taking it so personally that they react with an all or nothing attitude.
I guess ultimately I don't think it is therapeutic to hold back (this is a do as I say, not as I do) such important feelings out of fear. And it is a common part of therapy for clients to quit in anger and then calm down and need to keep working on stuff.
Therapists should never use our feelings as weapons against us.
poster:Daisym
thread:478144
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050329/msgs/478485.html