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Re: Bad Session with T » Dinah

Posted by cricket on April 20, 2005, at 9:59:23

In reply to Re: Bad Session with T » cricket, posted by Dinah on April 19, 2005, at 18:33:04

Thank you Dinah.

I can't believe that I am in such pain over this. I even took off from work this morning, something I never do, because I cried in grief all last night.

The thing is I don't think that he's a blank slate. I think that he is a warm, emphatic, wise and caring man. I've seen him talk in public, before he was my T and I've seen him a bit with other clients and I've heard him on the phone. But with me, especially lately, it's mockery and sarcasm and what feels very much like contempt. Something about me just brings out the worst in him.

Yesterday, he said, "well you have had ample opportunity to leave and I really don't understand why you don't." Which feels awful in and of itself. But then my question back and I really hope I can get a tiny bit of your bravery, Dinah, to ask it next week, is "And why haven't you terminated me? You've had ample opportunity to do it. I've always asked for you please to tell me if you thought that this wasn't working."

I am doing everything I can just to shut down on this so I can get through the rest of the week. Of course the huge temptation is just to call him, something that I've only done once and it was not a pleasant experience, and ask like a 5 year old, "But why do you hate me so much?"


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