Posted by Shy_Girl on April 23, 2005, at 20:27:51
In reply to Re: Borderline stigma » Shy_Girl, posted by alexandra_k on April 23, 2005, at 18:10:55
Thanks so much for the support :-)
I feel so alone, even though I know intellectually that I'm not.
> I do think that it is fair to say that there is a lot of stigma attached to the BPD label. And the worst stigma - unfortunately - comes from clinicians rather than from the general public who typically have no idea what the diagnosis means.
I'm curious, how did you manage to overcome the hurt from ill-informed clinicians? I think it would be a good thing to dimiss them and find more understanding clinician...but to be rejected really really hurts.
The pdoc my GP recommended a couple of years ago (when I first started to have problems) refused to even see me. I was devastated. The pdoc I see now works mostly with uni students since she works at the health services centre there. I've been seeing her for I think 2 years now, on and off...maybe she's kept the diagnosis from me that long.
> I struggled for a long time with the same questions that are occurring to you:
>
> -Is my whole personality (my whole being) f*cked up?I question everything I've thought now. I don't know if what I believed to be true, IS true. Are the memories of events I've experienced accurate? ...or tainted by irrational throughs brought on buy my explosive emotions??
> Apparantly I no longer meet criteria for BPD. I am 26. It is possible. Don't get me wrong - I still struggle. Life is hard at times.
That is a ray of hope for me. I've read that many people with a BPD get much better as they reach their 30s and 40s. I'm hoping that life experience will help me change. It also helps me to know that people's personalities are not static...they change over a lifetime.
Knowing my dx is hurtful for me, but I cannot deny that I have some very maladaptive coping mechanisms. I should change them because changing them will make me feel better, and I do want to feel better. Facing this is going to be difficult. Destructive as my coping mechanisms are, they do work...to a degree, but I really want to LIVE life, not avoid it.
>They were reluctant to tell you your diagnosis - isn't that right? To me that signifies that they were attempting to spare you of what you are going through right now.
Yes, maybe for the first couple of months my pdoc really wasn't sure, but she must have come to the conclusion a while ago. I think she was preparing me these couple of weeks. She starting using words like "dramatic," and "provacative" to describe my behaviour.
> I am avoidant too. If it is any consolation a fair few people with BPD are avoidant as well.
I thought it was odd that I could have a BPD and be so shy around people. I thought (mistakenly) that all people with a BPD get themselves tangled up in all sorts of relationships. I think to a certain degree my avoidance has shielded me from that aspect of myself. I never get close enough for people to see the "real" me...who is very unpredictable.
Posting here, I begin to see bits of my BPD coming out. I'm uninhibited...not sure if that's a good thing. It was probably a good thing I got blocked for a week, I was raging for quite a bit.
>The symptoms that you must meet to be given a diagnosis are fairly much descriptions of BEHAVIOURS. Not your whole being - just some of the behaviours that you exhibit.
I just don't like the word "personality disorder." I think that in of itself creates some stigma. I know you are correct though. I'm slowly finding out who I am, the bits I've found are positive for the most part. I need a major overhaul of my coping mechanisms though.
> I really would suggest you have a read of the treatment manuel that was written my Marsha Linehan.Thank for the info, I'll check it out.
> If you ever get the chance to do DBT (Dialectical Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) then I highly reccomend it. I did it for a year and it helped me immensely.
I'll look into that, thanx. :-)
Thanks for all the help. Congrats on not meeting the BPD criteria anymore! Hopefully with a lot of hard work and introspection I can get out of this before my 30s like you did!
Shy_Girl
poster:Shy_Girl
thread:488384
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050420/msgs/488500.html