Posted by Dinah on May 24, 2005, at 11:13:32
In reply to Re: One reason I wanted to post this » Dinah, posted by Tamar on May 24, 2005, at 3:46:30
> > Maybe so. Though I think I may have used up my Babble credit with my husband for a long long time. Have I mentioned he doesn't like this place?
>
> That’s unfortunate… Maybe he doesn’t realize that if you didn’t have this outlet you might expect to take up more of HIS emotional resources!
>
He's got this whole internet/mental health/axe murderer thought association going on. :)> > Oh, that's a very long story. There are big gaps in my memory, so it's sort of like one minute I looked like me, the next like my mother, but in truth a fair amount of time probably passed. And to complicate matters, I was a completely different person in tenth and twelth grades (extending over into college). I always joke (and it's just a joke) that I was taken over by aliens. I refer to me at that time as Happy Dinah, and I was actually quite proud of my body, and enjoyed my sexuality and to a limited extent boys. But it was only for those two periods of time. The aliens left and I became plain old me again. My husband says I caught him under false pretenses. Although you'd think at least ten years of dating after my return to me was enough to clear me of that accusation.
>
> Was there an eleventh grade in between tenth and twelfth, in which things were different again? Or was it the same in eleventh grade? Or did you skip a grade?No there was an eleventh grade. I was me in eleventh grade, the aliens released their hold. The funny thing is that both my husband and another boy I knew well as a friend say that I wasn't particularly attractive in eleventh grade, but was attractive in tenth and twelth. Attitude counts for a lot, I suppose.
And when I say twelth grade, that's not
actually accurate. It went into at least part of the first semester of college.
>
> I’m sure you’ve asked yourself dozens of times why the aliens left when they did. Just like I’ve asked myself dozens of times why I had one and only one relationship that worked sexually. In my case, the aliens came in my last year of college and I was immensely happy about it. I thought I’d finally cracked the code and figured out how to have a fulfilling sex life. I started having sex quite young, and it never really worked, until that relationship. But the relationship ended and sex has never been particularly good with anyone else. And I know the problem is within me; it’s not about the men. There might possibly be a reason but I have no memory of anything that would constitute a reason. But I’ve been working on the sex thing quite a lot recently and it’s improving.
>
I'm so proud of you for that! I'm glad I wasn't the only one taken over by pod people during early adulthood. I'm sorry it didn't last for you, and applaud you for working hard to get those feelings back. I think I concentrate more on what happened to create such an unaccustomed state, than why it quit. Though we've spent some time on that in therapy and have some ideas. But I long to get it back. Happy Dinah is what I'd love to be all the time. Actually, the aliens took me over again for a couple of days a couple of years ago (an experience I haven't been able to recreate), and my therapist thinks it may not be such a good thing to live life as Happy Dinah. lol.I know at least one Babbler thinks that Happy Dinah is the result of a long lasting mild hypomania. I like the alien idea better.
> Is there anything in particular you’re curious about? I’m prepared to share!
Only what you're willing to share. And it doesn't have to be right here. :) No pressure. I just suddenly realized how much I've been helped by you, and felt like I'm taking advantage. The only time I recall you asking for help, I wasn't able emotionally to give it because I'm just not rational about termination.
Not to mention just wanting to get to know you.
Oh, I know. As I said, I bring your posts in frequently, and I've wondered as I've said your posting name the correct way to pronounce it. How's that for an easy start?
No wait. That's for me again.
Sigh.
poster:Dinah
thread:501142
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050521/msgs/502219.html